You Were a Kid Once

I have often said that reading the posts of some of my FB friends is like finding out what their psychiatrist is dealing with. But I think my favorite ones are the posts of childless people or soon to be parents who want to comment on the behavior of other people's children. That, or assess whether someone else fits their definition of a "good" mother. Let me let you folks in on a little secret: Be VERY careful what you say, as you may have to eat your words someday. I can guarantee that there will be times when your children are little that you will permit them to do things that you never thought you would. This seems to happen even more often when you have more than one child.
What got me thinking about this subject was a poll on a barrel racing website that asked people what their pet peeves at barrel races were. More than one person said, "Noisy kids." Still others said, "Barking dogs." Okay, first of all...you are at a public event in a public place. If there are people involved, you can be pretty sure that some of them are going to be parents.You are also at event populated entirely by animal lovers. Odds are that some of them are going to love an animal other than a horse.
Now, I completely understand the frustration with children who are turned loose on the world on a horse or pony they can't control. My horse was in a high lope in the warmup pen last weekend when a child wandered out in front of us at a walk without ever looking up. I'm still not quite sure how we didn't run completely over her. This particular pet peeve is the reason my children are not allowed to ride around unsupervised at the barrel race. Or in the warmup pen with forty other horses. They don't know how to stay out of the way, and I can remember as a child being scolded by someone at an AQHA show. Part of my job is to keep that from happening to my kids.
Dogs are dogs. They bark just like horses kick. They come with the territory at a barrel race. I agree, one that barks incessantly gets annoying after awhile, but most people have the good sense to leave those at home. Notice I said most people. There are exceptions to every rule.
But back to the parenting thing. I have always enjoyed watching my friends become parents and slowly start to realize what the rest of us already know. Motherhood is HARD. It's a whole lot of hard work sprinkled with moments of absolute wonder and bliss. Most of us are doing the best we can, but again, there are exceptions.
My friends who barrel race and become mothers look at me in a whole new way when they realize just how much effort it takes for a mother of three small kids to even get to a show. Wonder why my horses don't look like they've been kept in the barn with a blanket on? It's because they haven't! Between laundry, lunches, homework, supper, and housework it's a wonder they get fed some nights. (The horses, not the kids. Those little suckers want to eat every day! And more than once!) If it weren't for my husband, the horses might not get fed. Oh, well, at least they are out on grass all day every day.
Since I became a mom my life has turned into a traveling circus. I often wonder if barrel racing moms have to be even more dedicated than everyone else. They surely have to put more effort into just getting there. And they definitely have more background noise in their heads. When one of my kids announced that the other one was choking on a piece of popcorn three horses before my run, I can tell you that my head was no longer in the game! She's fine, by the way. "Choking" was a bit of an exaggeration. Girls are such drama queens.
All of this to say: Don't judge that mom so harshly the next time her kids aren't sitting perfectly still and quiet in a public place. More than likely, she's doing the very best she can. Odds are that she's tired, hungry, and needs to go to the bathroom. If she's lucky like me, her husband is helping her out. If she's doing it by herself, go hug her neck and ask what you can do to help. I'm fairly certain you were a kid once, too.