As parents, we often look for feedback from our kids or others, something to let us know that we are doing a good job. I don't know anyone who wouldn't be tickled if someone told them how smart or polite their child was. I was thrilled when the man sitting in front of us on the flight to California told me how well behaved my girls were. Here's the part where I confess that they were asleep for most of the trip. As someone who has flown with and had to sit in front of children on a plane, I guess quiet and not kicking the back of your seat definitely qualify as good behavior.
I even had an employee at Arby's tell me that one of my kids was the most pleasant six year old she had ever seen. To which I had to fight the urge to say, "You don't get out much, do you?" The same sweet lady at church offers to take my baby home with her every Sunday. To which I always have to say, "You don't understand. She's not always this sweet!"
But yesterday morning something monumental happened. My husband was busy trying to force my child who has problems with hypoglycemia to eat her egg for breakfast. She looked at him and then used the "m" word. "Daddy, you're mean!" I have to admit that I did a little dance right there in the middle of the kitchen. "Did you hear that?" I practically yelled. "Did you hear that? She said we're mean. YESSSS! That means we're doing it right!" My husband sat there for a second, then said, "Huh?" I danced some more. "She said we're mean. That means we are doing this whole parenting thing right! Awesome. Thanks, Toots, you made my day!"
I don't think that's quite the reaction my daughter was looking for after such a bold statement, as the look she gave me could have burned through my skin and cooked my vital organs. But hey, I got confirmation from the horse's mouth that we are doing something right, and you can't ask for more than that!
Thursday, January 31, 2013
Wednesday, January 30, 2013
Animal House
Many of you know that one of my deepest desires has always been to be an author. I let my love of horses and other animals lead me away from a career in the journalism industry very early in life, but my love of books, reading, and writing has never gone away. I finally have the entire first pass copy of my book printed out and ready to review. I can hardly believe it. This is definitely a "bucket list" item for me!
A very influential teacher in my life once told me that I should write about what I "know." At the time I started collecting memories for my book, what I knew about was being a mother, one who had left a job that she loved and been thrown headfirst into motherhood with a baby under each arm. Naturally, my first book had to be about my kids, because that's what I was totally immersed in each and every day. That said, I have noticed a trend among readers of my blog. The posts about our animals seem to get significantly more reads than the ones about our kids! I am so glad that you guys enjoy reading about the "rest" of our family. So I will make an effort to include more about them and may even consider making them the subject of my next book. Between my husband and I, we have loads of clinic stories in addition to the chaos at home!
The other day I shared with you that our German Shepherd, with very little effort, had learned several tricks. Not to be outdone, Zoey has developed one of her own. Sort of. I guess you can call it a trick, only she doesn't do it on command or need to be especially smart to master it. Basically, I guess you could classify it as a sneak attack. She waits for me to bend over, usually to do something like tie my shoes. Then she slips up behind me, gets ready, and...licks me in the face! It's gross, it's slimy, and it makes me laugh every single time. Bringing her into our home has definitely been worth it, stains and all. By the way, I am so happy to report that she loves her special kidney food and seems to be gaining weight again. She doesn't guzzle water or vomit like she used to, and she hasn't had an accident since she's been home, although I must confess that we get up more during the night with this silly dog than we ever did with our kids!
Speaking of the kids, I really wish someone had been filming the other day in our den. We would have had another clip for AFV, not really a clever one, but just a really freaking funny one. I was at my limit with my child, who was speaking Whinese and telling me what was wrong with the third pair of jeans she had put on that morning. I headed toward her, armed and ready. My cousins who have seen my mom do this will be able to picture this perfectly in their minds! When I got to her, I picked up the leg of the pair of jeans I was holding, drew back, and popped her as hard as I could on the leg. Only I didn't exactly hit the target. The pant leg sort of wrapped around her and...hit my husband square in the nuts! So much for discipline. Guess Daddy took one for the team! I didn't laugh...long. And just so you know, it's really hard to sound sincere when you are making an apology while laughing so hard you cried.
A very influential teacher in my life once told me that I should write about what I "know." At the time I started collecting memories for my book, what I knew about was being a mother, one who had left a job that she loved and been thrown headfirst into motherhood with a baby under each arm. Naturally, my first book had to be about my kids, because that's what I was totally immersed in each and every day. That said, I have noticed a trend among readers of my blog. The posts about our animals seem to get significantly more reads than the ones about our kids! I am so glad that you guys enjoy reading about the "rest" of our family. So I will make an effort to include more about them and may even consider making them the subject of my next book. Between my husband and I, we have loads of clinic stories in addition to the chaos at home!
The other day I shared with you that our German Shepherd, with very little effort, had learned several tricks. Not to be outdone, Zoey has developed one of her own. Sort of. I guess you can call it a trick, only she doesn't do it on command or need to be especially smart to master it. Basically, I guess you could classify it as a sneak attack. She waits for me to bend over, usually to do something like tie my shoes. Then she slips up behind me, gets ready, and...licks me in the face! It's gross, it's slimy, and it makes me laugh every single time. Bringing her into our home has definitely been worth it, stains and all. By the way, I am so happy to report that she loves her special kidney food and seems to be gaining weight again. She doesn't guzzle water or vomit like she used to, and she hasn't had an accident since she's been home, although I must confess that we get up more during the night with this silly dog than we ever did with our kids!
Speaking of the kids, I really wish someone had been filming the other day in our den. We would have had another clip for AFV, not really a clever one, but just a really freaking funny one. I was at my limit with my child, who was speaking Whinese and telling me what was wrong with the third pair of jeans she had put on that morning. I headed toward her, armed and ready. My cousins who have seen my mom do this will be able to picture this perfectly in their minds! When I got to her, I picked up the leg of the pair of jeans I was holding, drew back, and popped her as hard as I could on the leg. Only I didn't exactly hit the target. The pant leg sort of wrapped around her and...hit my husband square in the nuts! So much for discipline. Guess Daddy took one for the team! I didn't laugh...long. And just so you know, it's really hard to sound sincere when you are making an apology while laughing so hard you cried.
Tuesday, January 29, 2013
Silver the Watchdog
Thank you so much to everyone who has offered their condolences on the loss of our German Shepherd, Silver. She was a wonderful dog, a loyal companion, and a protector of our family for many years. I can't think of a time that she ever showed aggression toward a person, save one. For several years, Kirk and I lived in a loft apartment that overlooked our veterinary clinic. As Silver only had three legs, stairs were a challenge, and ours were too much for her. So she basically had the run of the clinic at night, along with a love seat in the waiting room that she claimed (and destroyed by chewing on the arms.) One night, the local sheriff's department was checking doors, just as they always did, and found that we had forgotten to lock the back one. We never really had trouble with break-ins, I think mainly due to the fact that if you walked up to the curtained front doors, Silver would immediately push them aside and look out at you!
Finding the back door unlocked, the deputies came into the building through the back, not realizing that we were sleeping upstairs...or that Silver was downstairs. She met them at the swinging door that led to the waiting room, and made it clear that they were not welcome to come any farther. In a sort of odd turn, they went next door and enlisted the help of our neighbor, who assured them that Silver "knew him" and would let him in. She let him come through the door, but no farther. She had retreated to her love seat, but she was lying there showing every tooth in her head.
How on Earth we slept through all that, I'm not sure. Finally someone decided to just yell until they woke us up. Honestly, I was shocked to find out that our sweet, loving puppy was also one heck of a watchdog...when she needed to be.
She had three tricks, "give me five," "speak," and "Bang! Dead dog!" She loved to perform them for anyone and everyone. Silver loved kids, and she entertained at local schools and libraries on a regular basis, even letting my husband the veterinarian tag along.
After yesterday, it is apparent that a lot of people remember her, and remember her fondly! My poor husband was a bit disappointed that after I posted about the dogs one day they got more "likes" on FB than a post about him! Sorry, Babe.
Finding the back door unlocked, the deputies came into the building through the back, not realizing that we were sleeping upstairs...or that Silver was downstairs. She met them at the swinging door that led to the waiting room, and made it clear that they were not welcome to come any farther. In a sort of odd turn, they went next door and enlisted the help of our neighbor, who assured them that Silver "knew him" and would let him in. She let him come through the door, but no farther. She had retreated to her love seat, but she was lying there showing every tooth in her head.
How on Earth we slept through all that, I'm not sure. Finally someone decided to just yell until they woke us up. Honestly, I was shocked to find out that our sweet, loving puppy was also one heck of a watchdog...when she needed to be.
She had three tricks, "give me five," "speak," and "Bang! Dead dog!" She loved to perform them for anyone and everyone. Silver loved kids, and she entertained at local schools and libraries on a regular basis, even letting my husband the veterinarian tag along.
After yesterday, it is apparent that a lot of people remember her, and remember her fondly! My poor husband was a bit disappointed that after I posted about the dogs one day they got more "likes" on FB than a post about him! Sorry, Babe.
Monday, January 28, 2013
Puppy Problems
I mentioned when we adopted Zoey that it had been a very long time since we added to our dog collection. Ten years, give or take, but who's counting? I'm fairly certain that the last puppies we got were our two Corgis in 2003. That said, anyone who ever came into our veterinary clinic will remember our three-legged German Shepherd, Silver. She came to us as a twelve week old puppy who had gotten too close to a broodmare. Her back leg was badly broken, and the owners decided they would rather put her down than fix her leg. As we were fresh out of veterinary school and still thought we could save the world (ha, ha) my husband asked if we could have her. He wanted to try to fix her leg and then "find her a home." To make a long story short, two surgical attempts and a consult later, we amputated her shattered leg and found her a home - ours.
She has been with us for almost 11 years now, watched over me through my pregnancies, and protected my children. So this morning when I found her flat out on her side, I was quickly and harshly reminded how old she really is for a big dog. Her pupils were dilated, she was breathing hard, and didn't seem to know her name. In my best owner who also happens to be a vet opinion, she seemed to have had a seizure. When her breathing became more labored, I was afraid she was going to die right then. Thirty or so minutes passed, and suddenly she rolled up onto her chest and seemed to know me again. So far, she has had some bloody stool and hasn't been able to get up. I'm really hoping this isn't the beginning of the end for her. Today I am praying for the strength to do the right thing for a very good and faithful companion. Any and all positive thoughts are appreciated.
On the flip side, I am delighted to say that Zoey is feeling much better! Having survived her surgery, the first few days at home were pretty rough. She vomited almost nonstop for a couple of days, got really dehydrated, and we started to have some serious talks about her quality of life. We decided that we hadn't come this far to quit on her now, so we dosed her up with anti-nausea meds and fluids. And it worked! She trotted behind me in the house, which she's never done, and she actually played with my husband. He took her outside yesterday and she even barked and chased the truck. I can't tell you how much good it did my heart to see her happy and feeling good. She even jumps up on us and demands to be petted, which is also new. Thanks to her dental and surgery, she just smells like a dog now, instead of walking death! We can only hope that she has many happy years ahead, and if she doesn't, at least she has us now.
PS - When I returned from my doctor appointment this morning, our sweet Silver was gone. RIP, my dear and faithful companion. You made so many people happy, and your life truly mattered. We miss you already!
Saturday, January 26, 2013
Mini Me
Since I've been at this whole motherhood thing for about six years now, I would like to share with you a small fraction of what I have learned since my kids were born. There are certain undeniable truths about parenting. Anything that claims to be "ouchless" isn't. That is a total lie. Any product that feels the need to include the word "ouchless" on the label is to be used for something that hurts. "Tear free" shampoo produces wailing and gnashing of teeth every single time you put it in a child's eyes. Anything that says "childproof" really means "adult" proof. As in, you aren't getting in that sucker without help from your child. The people who package toys are a sadistic, vindictive little group of monsters. They sit up at night and think of ways to anchor Barbie dolls in boxes that will take you ten minutes and at least three tools to get out. All while the short people are standing there screaming, "Get it out! Get it out! Hurry! Hurry!"
The most important bit of parenting fact I would like to pass along is this: The mother's curse (I hope you have some kids who act just like you) WORKS. It is for real, and I have proof. The child I most often butt heads with in our family is the one who's exactly like me. She's a picky eater who must analyze each and every bite before it enters her mouth. She is challenged when it comes to fashion. I tried to patiently explain that an orange shirt and orange pants didn't really need to be worn together, even though they were both orange. Finally I got exasperated and yelled, "You look like a Push-Up! Now go change your pants!" Every article of clothing on the planet has something wrong with it. It itches, it's too big, it's too small, it slides when she walks. The list goes on and on and on.
She hates any and all forms of tights. I admit that she gets this honestly, but come on. It took me ten minutes to arrange the seam on her toes before church. She gets frustrated easily when she can't do something perfectly the first time she tries it. Again, it's possible that she comes by that naturally, but it doesn't make it any less annoying.
Our personal war on most days is about her hair, which I have to admit is pretty funny. I was the daughter of a hairdresser, and most of our fights were about my hair! The other day, I had fixed her hair like Rapunzel, which is her current favorite hairstyle. She took off to get her shoes, and I heard it. The sound I despise more than anything else. That "I'm dissatisfied with something" sound coming from my laundry room. Out she came, face red and blotchy, tears still in her eyes.
"What on Earth is wrong with you?" She stood there for a second, touched the back of her just-fixed hair, looked at me, and said, "There's more space on one side of my ponytail than the other and I just don't know where the center of my head is!" What a coincidence. I've lost the center of my head too...also known as my mind!
The most important bit of parenting fact I would like to pass along is this: The mother's curse (I hope you have some kids who act just like you) WORKS. It is for real, and I have proof. The child I most often butt heads with in our family is the one who's exactly like me. She's a picky eater who must analyze each and every bite before it enters her mouth. She is challenged when it comes to fashion. I tried to patiently explain that an orange shirt and orange pants didn't really need to be worn together, even though they were both orange. Finally I got exasperated and yelled, "You look like a Push-Up! Now go change your pants!" Every article of clothing on the planet has something wrong with it. It itches, it's too big, it's too small, it slides when she walks. The list goes on and on and on.
She hates any and all forms of tights. I admit that she gets this honestly, but come on. It took me ten minutes to arrange the seam on her toes before church. She gets frustrated easily when she can't do something perfectly the first time she tries it. Again, it's possible that she comes by that naturally, but it doesn't make it any less annoying.
Our personal war on most days is about her hair, which I have to admit is pretty funny. I was the daughter of a hairdresser, and most of our fights were about my hair! The other day, I had fixed her hair like Rapunzel, which is her current favorite hairstyle. She took off to get her shoes, and I heard it. The sound I despise more than anything else. That "I'm dissatisfied with something" sound coming from my laundry room. Out she came, face red and blotchy, tears still in her eyes.
"What on Earth is wrong with you?" She stood there for a second, touched the back of her just-fixed hair, looked at me, and said, "There's more space on one side of my ponytail than the other and I just don't know where the center of my head is!" What a coincidence. I've lost the center of my head too...also known as my mind!
Thursday, January 24, 2013
The First Pass Copy
I am excited to say that my "first pass copy" of my book is here. I have to read through it and make any needed changes once more before it goes to be printed! I can hardly believe it. It's very surreal to hold the pages in my hands. They look like actual book pages, all laid out and professional. It's getting closer! I am thrilled at the prospect of putting this project to bed and beginning another one. OK, maybe not just yet. But I am ready to be done with this one. Thanks to everyone who has asked about the book. I will absolutely let everyone know when it is finished, and you will be able to purchase it through this website. I hope you have as much fun reading it as I did writing it!
The Root Canal
I started my morning with a root canal. Not my favorite way to start the day, but at least I got plenty of laughing gas. I was a bit apprehensive about the nitrous after hearing a friend tell me that he made some highly inappropriate comments to the technician assisting with his procedure. I bet they are still telling that story at the office Christmas party every year! But my fear of what was coming won out over my fear of saying something inappropriate. So it was on with the mask! To infinity, and beyond!
Since I also started my day with a migraine, I have to say that when the Relpax and the nitrous kicked in at the same time I was feeling pretty good! Lying there all warm and cozy, feeling as if my arms and legs were about to float off of the chair, I forgot for a moment that I was there to have someone drill a hole in my tooth, pull out the vessels in the middle, and drain an abscess under the root. Yep, it was just as pleasant as it sounds, although I have to say that the anesthesia was great. The only part that really sucked was the fact that I couldn't actually fall asleep in the chair while he worked on my tooth. Oh, and the part where he pulled off the mask and sat me up to x-ray my tooth and admire his work. That part definitely interrupted my swerve.
I am happy to report that I survived the procedure, and at least for the moment I get to keep my tooth. I spent a lot of time reading about the root canal procedure and the long term complications that have been associated with them, but it's just hard to say, "Go ahead and pull" one of my permanent teeth! And yes, I thought about that guy in "The Hangover" a lot! So for the time being, my teeth are all my own. Guess I wasn't as lucky as I thought several years ago when that horse fell with me and stepped on my face. What I thought was just a fat lip also included a damaged tooth!
I found it fairly amusing that when I asked how long it would be before I could eat, the nurse replied with, "Any time you're ready, just don't forget that your lips are numb." Gee, really? How could I possibly forget that one side of my mouth was drooping? I'm constantly touching my face to see if there is drool running down my chin! Seeing as how I'm not quite ready for the nursing home, this is not a normal state of affairs for me. Anyway, I have lots to write about later, after I sober up. Or maybe I should do it before. Might make for some interesting reading!
Since I also started my day with a migraine, I have to say that when the Relpax and the nitrous kicked in at the same time I was feeling pretty good! Lying there all warm and cozy, feeling as if my arms and legs were about to float off of the chair, I forgot for a moment that I was there to have someone drill a hole in my tooth, pull out the vessels in the middle, and drain an abscess under the root. Yep, it was just as pleasant as it sounds, although I have to say that the anesthesia was great. The only part that really sucked was the fact that I couldn't actually fall asleep in the chair while he worked on my tooth. Oh, and the part where he pulled off the mask and sat me up to x-ray my tooth and admire his work. That part definitely interrupted my swerve.
I am happy to report that I survived the procedure, and at least for the moment I get to keep my tooth. I spent a lot of time reading about the root canal procedure and the long term complications that have been associated with them, but it's just hard to say, "Go ahead and pull" one of my permanent teeth! And yes, I thought about that guy in "The Hangover" a lot! So for the time being, my teeth are all my own. Guess I wasn't as lucky as I thought several years ago when that horse fell with me and stepped on my face. What I thought was just a fat lip also included a damaged tooth!
I found it fairly amusing that when I asked how long it would be before I could eat, the nurse replied with, "Any time you're ready, just don't forget that your lips are numb." Gee, really? How could I possibly forget that one side of my mouth was drooping? I'm constantly touching my face to see if there is drool running down my chin! Seeing as how I'm not quite ready for the nursing home, this is not a normal state of affairs for me. Anyway, I have lots to write about later, after I sober up. Or maybe I should do it before. Might make for some interesting reading!
Tuesday, January 22, 2013
A Happy Homecoming
She's home! Our sweet Zoey came home yesterday, and I am very happy to say that she is doing well. Although she is heartworm positive and has some lingering kidney issues, she seems to feel much, much better! She was so excited to see me yesterday when I went to pick her up. She actually wagged her rear end (she doesn't really have much of a tail) and jumped up on me over and over. I am THRILLED to say that she smells much better! She lost 6 pounds during her week at the vet, so we are working on putting some weight back on her now.
I must tell you how happy it made me to go get her. Even though I promised over and over that we would be coming back for her when I dropped her off, I wondered if that's what they told her when they left her at the shelter, too. And perhaps I'm giving her too much credit, but I did think about her the whole time we were gone and wonder if she thought we were never coming back. She seems extremely glad to be home, once again making every step I take and snoring softly under my feet while I write. I have to say it makes me happy to once again hear her little toenails clicking on the floor behind me in the house.
I am most excited to report that she just seems to feel so much better. She has a new life about her, a spring in her step that wasn't there before. Her eyes are brighter, and she can get up and down more easily. She actually ran yesterday, and even walks more quickly around the house. I guess rotten teeth and a rotten uterus make a girl feel pretty bad! We were told that it looked like she had been the lucky recipient of at least three C-sections, which no doubt resulted in litters of expensive puppies for her owners. I guess I will always wonder if perhaps she couldn't have any more puppies and that's why they decided to get rid of her. No matter what, I'm glad they did what they did, because whether she lives 6 months or 6 years, she will spend that time knowing that she is loved and has a forever home. We love you, Zoey!
I must tell you how happy it made me to go get her. Even though I promised over and over that we would be coming back for her when I dropped her off, I wondered if that's what they told her when they left her at the shelter, too. And perhaps I'm giving her too much credit, but I did think about her the whole time we were gone and wonder if she thought we were never coming back. She seems extremely glad to be home, once again making every step I take and snoring softly under my feet while I write. I have to say it makes me happy to once again hear her little toenails clicking on the floor behind me in the house.
I am most excited to report that she just seems to feel so much better. She has a new life about her, a spring in her step that wasn't there before. Her eyes are brighter, and she can get up and down more easily. She actually ran yesterday, and even walks more quickly around the house. I guess rotten teeth and a rotten uterus make a girl feel pretty bad! We were told that it looked like she had been the lucky recipient of at least three C-sections, which no doubt resulted in litters of expensive puppies for her owners. I guess I will always wonder if perhaps she couldn't have any more puppies and that's why they decided to get rid of her. No matter what, I'm glad they did what they did, because whether she lives 6 months or 6 years, she will spend that time knowing that she is loved and has a forever home. We love you, Zoey!
Monday, January 21, 2013
A quick update
Just a quick update. Thank you so much for all the prayers and good thoughts for Zoey. She is doing very well following her surgery and is coming home today! I have missed her snoring, but not her stink. She has had a dental and a bath, so hopefully she will be looking and smelling beautiful when she gets here...at least for a few minutes!
After a quick trip to Disneyland last week, we have realized that our kids are totally unfamiliar with the Disney classics, so if you are looking for me, I'll be watching things like Mary Poppins and Peter Pan this week! More details about our trip to come... I'm going to get at least five or ten posts out of that one. It was quite a trip!
After a quick trip to Disneyland last week, we have realized that our kids are totally unfamiliar with the Disney classics, so if you are looking for me, I'll be watching things like Mary Poppins and Peter Pan this week! More details about our trip to come... I'm going to get at least five or ten posts out of that one. It was quite a trip!
Sunday, January 20, 2013
Almost Home
We are almost home from the trip of a lifetime! Seeing my babies enjoy themselves at Disneyland is something I will remember forever. I have LOTS of stories to tell, some of which will have to wait until after February 17, which is when the next episode of AFV our family is a part of will air. I can't wait to tell you all about it. More to come tomorrow... I'm heading off to bed as soon as humanly possible.
Thursday, January 17, 2013
Another plane trip!
Traveling with my children is always interesting. I am still completely amazed (and proud) that I have traveled cross country with them on an airplane not once, but twice since November. The things that they find to stress over both entertain and confuse me. This morning as we stood in the airport in Memphis, I was surprised to learn that we would be paying an additional $100 to fly our suitcase to California because it weighed over 50 pounds. Packing enough stuff for five people including one really nice set of clothes for a TV appearance tends to produce suitcases that weigh a lot. Keeping in mind the fact that we will be reimbursed for our baggage fees by the kind people at AFV, I casually swiped my expired debit card. And no, I have no idea why it's still in my wallet. Naturally, swiping an expired card did not produce the desired result, so I stood there stupidly while all the people in line behind us bored holes in my back with their laser beam eyes and tried to figure out whether they were on the same flight that we were. Walking up to the line with a bunch of little kids is always good for inciting a few terrified glances from the people who are already there. As long as people travel with children, there will always be prayer in airports. I could practically hear the people behind me silently begging God not to seat them next to us.
Realizing what I had done, I pulled out the new card and waited for the machine to tell me none too politely that my card had been declined. Then I caught sight of my daughter's face. She was right on the edge of a major panic attack. I assured her that everything would be alright, which it was, after I swiped a current debit card.
As we finished checking in and started walking toward the terminal, I noticed the same child with a concerned, tearful look on her face. "What in the world is wrong with you?" She looked up slowly and said, "Well, I mean, it's just so expensive... a hundred dollars? Oh, my." She shook her head mournfully.
I couldn't help but giggle at her woeful expression. I reassured her that we would be reimbursed for the baggage fees (and even if we weren't, they have already paid for the ticket. A flight for five people to Disneyland for $150? I'll take it!)
The current crisis averted, we were in the midst of gathering up our luggage to head to security when my other six year old said casually, "Well, I hope we don't crash on the way there." Did I mention that she's just a ray of sunshine? I gave her my standard, "Well, if we crash at least we'll all be together" and we were off to security.
It's always exciting to see what we have that does or doesn't make it through security, particularly now that my girls are adding things to their backpacks that I don't know about. On this particular trip, Savannah set off the walk through alarm, presumably because of the change in her backpack and then was the lucky recipient of a random security check. Since she's six, the TSA agent informed me that they would be screening me instead. Excellent. As I stood there wondering if I was about to be patted down, felt up, or body cavity searched, I briefly wondered if I had made a mistake by submitting our video to AFV. Then he told me that all they wanted was a residue test on my hands, so needless to say I was tremendously relieved.
When we finally made it onto the airplane, my daughter asked me at least 27 times how much longer it would be before we took off. As is often the case, getting to the plane was much more nerve wracking than the actual flight. I feel certain the people behind her enjoyed Savannah's rendition of "Jeremiah was a Bullfrog." And now for the layover in Houston and a much longer flight to LA. Should be fun!
Wednesday, January 16, 2013
Zoey again
Blogging from the road today. We just talked to the vet and Zoey made it through the night! She is doing well and even drank some water this morning. Thank you so much to everyone who has asked about her. She is such a good dog. I am so glad her life was spared. :)
Tuesday, January 15, 2013
Zoey Update
Just went by the clinic to check on Zoey. She was asleep when we got there, but she raised her head when I said her name and stood up when she saw me. She seems to be doing very well. The ovary they took out was the size of a baseball, so she is bound to feel better. She will continue to get fluids over the next few days. Hoping for a speedy recovery and a happier dog. :)
Multiple Medical Problems for Zoey
For anyone who may not know, we recently added an old, starving English bulldog to our family. (See the post entitled "Do you want a dog" for the details of how she came to live with us.) Knowing we would be going on a trip to California soon, we decided to let her gain some weight before addressing any of her medical issues. The plan was to board her at a colleague's practice and have her general health evaluated, as well as having her spayed and her teeth cleaned, giving her several days of hospitalization to recover before we got home. You've heard that saying about the best laid plans of mice and men, right?
Sometimes it is hard to shut the doctor in my head up. Zoey was incredibly skinny when she came to us, and although she has had free choice food every moment lately, she just hasn't gained as much weight as I thought she should have. She had one eye that looked horrible, which is why my husband started taking care of her at the shelter in the first place. I suspected that she might have kidney disease, which would explain why her breath is so exceptionally bad. But her teeth are rotten as well, so I told myself that the odor was coming from those nasty teeth. Her urine is very dilute, almost clear, and she vomits nearly every day. I thought at first she was guzzling water, and overfilling her stomach with water and air, which was causing her to regurgitate. Now I'm not so sure. We did have her glucose level checked, thinking that she might be diabetic, and it was normal, which made me start thinking about kidney disease again.
In addition to all that, she came into heat shortly after we got her, and has bled a lot longer than she should have. This caused me to wonder about an infection in her uterus called a pyometra. But she seemed to feel okay and was still eating and drinking, so I second guessed myself again.
This morning we found out that she does indeed have elevated kidney enzymes. Really elevated. Her BUN is over 100 and her creatinine is 3.4. (My veterinarian friends will know what those values mean. For those who may not know, they are indicators of serious kidney issues.) She is anemic, which means she has too few red blood cells and her white blood cell count is over 23,000, which is very high. She is also heartworm positive, which is disappointing but did not come as a shock. She has a mass in her abdomen, which is visible on an x-ray and painful when you press on it.
I am hoping that all these things together point to a pyometra, an infection in the uterus. This condition is treatable with surgery to remove the uterus. IF she survives the surgery and her kidney condition is manageable, then we will decide what, if anything, can be done about the heartworms. Treatment for heartworm disease is dangerous at best in a young healthy dog.
We are keeping in mind that it is also possible that when the doctor opens her abdomen, she will find that it is full of cancer. The mass on her x-ray may be her uterus, and it may not. We are keeping our fingers crossed that she gets a favorable diagnosis, and that's where we are right now.
Thank you to everyone who has expressed concern about her today. It is extremely hard to be objective about your own animals, which is why we are not treating her ourselves. If you can bring yourself to say a prayer for a dog, please say one for Zoey today. I sure do miss hearing her snore while I write.
Sometimes it is hard to shut the doctor in my head up. Zoey was incredibly skinny when she came to us, and although she has had free choice food every moment lately, she just hasn't gained as much weight as I thought she should have. She had one eye that looked horrible, which is why my husband started taking care of her at the shelter in the first place. I suspected that she might have kidney disease, which would explain why her breath is so exceptionally bad. But her teeth are rotten as well, so I told myself that the odor was coming from those nasty teeth. Her urine is very dilute, almost clear, and she vomits nearly every day. I thought at first she was guzzling water, and overfilling her stomach with water and air, which was causing her to regurgitate. Now I'm not so sure. We did have her glucose level checked, thinking that she might be diabetic, and it was normal, which made me start thinking about kidney disease again.
In addition to all that, she came into heat shortly after we got her, and has bled a lot longer than she should have. This caused me to wonder about an infection in her uterus called a pyometra. But she seemed to feel okay and was still eating and drinking, so I second guessed myself again.
This morning we found out that she does indeed have elevated kidney enzymes. Really elevated. Her BUN is over 100 and her creatinine is 3.4. (My veterinarian friends will know what those values mean. For those who may not know, they are indicators of serious kidney issues.) She is anemic, which means she has too few red blood cells and her white blood cell count is over 23,000, which is very high. She is also heartworm positive, which is disappointing but did not come as a shock. She has a mass in her abdomen, which is visible on an x-ray and painful when you press on it.
I am hoping that all these things together point to a pyometra, an infection in the uterus. This condition is treatable with surgery to remove the uterus. IF she survives the surgery and her kidney condition is manageable, then we will decide what, if anything, can be done about the heartworms. Treatment for heartworm disease is dangerous at best in a young healthy dog.
We are keeping in mind that it is also possible that when the doctor opens her abdomen, she will find that it is full of cancer. The mass on her x-ray may be her uterus, and it may not. We are keeping our fingers crossed that she gets a favorable diagnosis, and that's where we are right now.
Thank you to everyone who has expressed concern about her today. It is extremely hard to be objective about your own animals, which is why we are not treating her ourselves. If you can bring yourself to say a prayer for a dog, please say one for Zoey today. I sure do miss hearing her snore while I write.
Catching Up!
Packing for our AFV trip today! I have SO much material to write about and so little time! Maybe I will have a chance to catch up on the plane. Please think good thoughts for our bulldog Zoey today. She is at a colleague's office for surgery and has more problems than we first thought.
Friday, January 11, 2013
Reindeer Food
Longer post coming later...but for the moment I just had to throw this out there. My kids made "reindeer food" at our school's Winterfest, which was sprinkled in our grass to help Santa's reindeer find our house. It included things like oatmeal, raisins, and red glitter. Such a fun idea...that has resulted in me asking the following question: Am I the only one whose yard now contains piles of sparkly red dog poop? Should have done it earlier...I really think it would have added a festive touch to our holiday decor. Feel free to put on Pinterest. You're welcome.
Thursday, January 10, 2013
One for Sharlee
Our girls have finally gotten big enough and brave enough for a set of (very blunt) spurs. Their little legs finally reach a good bit past the saddle blanket, and they certainly don't have to work as hard to get their horses going. After riding the other day, Sharlee informed me that "Spurs rock." Then she thought about it for a minute and said with a giggle, "Yeah, mom. Spurs rock! Are you going to put that on your 'blob' when you write about us again?"
So here ya go, Sharlee. You made the blob. Again. :)
So here ya go, Sharlee. You made the blob. Again. :)
Literal Creatures
Children are literal. We all know this, and mine are particularly so. They also tend to comment on subjects they know nothing about, as well as using words they don't necessarily know the meaning of. And don't get me started on sarcasm and connotations. Totally lost on these guys. But it makes for some funny conversations!
The other day my husband was doing his very best cheerleader impersonation, giving my "glass half empty" child an impassioned speech about how she could do, be, or have anything that she wanted, if she was willing to work hard at it. So in classic Shumpert style, she replied, "Well, if I can have anything I want, then I want a cell phone, a car, and to go away!" Right. Since this was the child who not one month ago was swearing she would never leave home, I asked, "So where are you going? I thought you were never getting married and staying with us!" She thought about it for a second and then replied with a smile, "The mall!" Darn! I was hoping she had changed her mind about this whole "living with my parents for the rest of my life" thing. Sigh.
My family all think that I spend too much time using my phone, which is probably true, but I'll never say that to them. Last night my husband said, "I saw a show you ought to be on. Well, I mean if you were still young and single." Thanks, hon. "Really - it was about these girls who lived together in an apartment and had no cell phones, no computers, no technology of any kind." I thought about the horror of such a situation for a moment and replied, "Yeah, I would kill somebody." He went on, "I mean these girls were worse than you, too. They were like, addicted to their phones."
My daughter, who had been halfway eavesdropping on our conversation, looked up and with all the passion of the kid in Little Giants who said, "Don't be talkin' about my mama" said, "HEY! Nobody's more addicted than my mama!" Gee, thanks. I think.
The other day my husband was doing his very best cheerleader impersonation, giving my "glass half empty" child an impassioned speech about how she could do, be, or have anything that she wanted, if she was willing to work hard at it. So in classic Shumpert style, she replied, "Well, if I can have anything I want, then I want a cell phone, a car, and to go away!" Right. Since this was the child who not one month ago was swearing she would never leave home, I asked, "So where are you going? I thought you were never getting married and staying with us!" She thought about it for a second and then replied with a smile, "The mall!" Darn! I was hoping she had changed her mind about this whole "living with my parents for the rest of my life" thing. Sigh.
My family all think that I spend too much time using my phone, which is probably true, but I'll never say that to them. Last night my husband said, "I saw a show you ought to be on. Well, I mean if you were still young and single." Thanks, hon. "Really - it was about these girls who lived together in an apartment and had no cell phones, no computers, no technology of any kind." I thought about the horror of such a situation for a moment and replied, "Yeah, I would kill somebody." He went on, "I mean these girls were worse than you, too. They were like, addicted to their phones."
My daughter, who had been halfway eavesdropping on our conversation, looked up and with all the passion of the kid in Little Giants who said, "Don't be talkin' about my mama" said, "HEY! Nobody's more addicted than my mama!" Gee, thanks. I think.
Wednesday, January 9, 2013
You Just Never Know
Anyone who has ever been around my kids for more than a nanosecond knows that you never can tell what is about to come out of their mouths. I figure they get that pretty honestly, as their dad has exactly the same personality trait. The other night, for some reason my inner child took over and I decided it would be a good idea to jump into our bed instead of climbing in. A high bed looked and sounded really cool until I was pregnant with Sheridan and needed a stepstool to get in and out of it. So I jumped in with a giggle and then let out a shriek when one of the slats came loose! (And despite what my husband would want me to say here,YES, that is exactly how it happened. There were no other "Fifty Shades of Grey" type shenanigans going on. At least I don't think there were. I haven't read the book, so I can't be sure. But there was absolutely no sex involved. Now get your mind out of the gutter!)
For a brief moment I thought the whole mattress was about to be on the floor, but fortunately the other slats did their job and we avoided a disaster. Oh, who am I kidding? There's so much crap under my bed that there's no way that mattress ever would have touched the floor! After I stopped laughing, I asked my hero of a husband to get under there and fix the bed. After his prerequisite, "You broke it, you fix it" speech, he used his manly muscles to repair the damage. Then as he turned to walk back to his side of the bed, he flipped off the lamp on the bedside table. Keep in mind that had I turned the lamp off, he would have groped his way around the bed in the dark and complained all the way about not being able to see! Then he said something like, "Don't worry, Babe! I'll get that light. Apparently I'm the only one in this family who knows how to work a light switch!" To which I replied, "Well apparently I'm the only one in the family who knows how to change a roll of toilet paper, so I guess without us our kids would be crapping in the dark and dripping dry!"
I couldn't help but be reminded of the Jeff Foxworthy joke about the man whose wife was out repaving the driveway. He emptied one trash can, then went outside to make sure his wife gave him credit for his accomplishment. "Don't worry about that little garbage can, I done got it! Did it for you, Sweet Thang!"
Yep, don't know what I would have done without him. Love you, Babe!
For a brief moment I thought the whole mattress was about to be on the floor, but fortunately the other slats did their job and we avoided a disaster. Oh, who am I kidding? There's so much crap under my bed that there's no way that mattress ever would have touched the floor! After I stopped laughing, I asked my hero of a husband to get under there and fix the bed. After his prerequisite, "You broke it, you fix it" speech, he used his manly muscles to repair the damage. Then as he turned to walk back to his side of the bed, he flipped off the lamp on the bedside table. Keep in mind that had I turned the lamp off, he would have groped his way around the bed in the dark and complained all the way about not being able to see! Then he said something like, "Don't worry, Babe! I'll get that light. Apparently I'm the only one in this family who knows how to work a light switch!" To which I replied, "Well apparently I'm the only one in the family who knows how to change a roll of toilet paper, so I guess without us our kids would be crapping in the dark and dripping dry!"
I couldn't help but be reminded of the Jeff Foxworthy joke about the man whose wife was out repaving the driveway. He emptied one trash can, then went outside to make sure his wife gave him credit for his accomplishment. "Don't worry about that little garbage can, I done got it! Did it for you, Sweet Thang!"
Yep, don't know what I would have done without him. Love you, Babe!
Tuesday, January 8, 2013
The Things We Give Up
When I became a mom, I knew that there would be a lot of things I would have to give up. I'm sure that on some level, I knew that privacy in the bathroom was one of those things. Alas, much like so many other things associated with motherhood, I didn't really "get it" until I was in it neck deep and it was too late. The other day I was alone in my restroom, contemplating the mysteries of the universe when the French doors flew open and my daughter burst into the room. "Mom! My arm itches so bad! You have to put some medicine on it before I got to bed!" She held up the limb in question to reveal an area of what appeared to be mild eczema. Used to the interruption but still slightly annoyed, I said, "Go get me the eczema cream that I use on the baby." She returned, I applied the cream, and sent her on her merry way. Or so I thought.
About the time I turned my attention back to the task at hand, the French doors flew open again. "Mom! Mom! You have to get off that toilet and come look at the dog!" "What?" "You have to get off that toilet and come look at Zoey! She's sitting! I've never seen her sit before! Hurry!" I sat there for a moment and contemplated the humor of the situation and the earnest look on her face. "Would you mind if I got done using the bathroom first?" She looked surprised, then replied, "Oh, well, okay!" She took off again, leaving both doors standing wide open as usual, because really, who needs privacy? And with that, I came to believe with certainty that the person who designed our home was a man. French doors on a bathroom with no lock...definitely not the creation of any mother in the world!
About the time I turned my attention back to the task at hand, the French doors flew open again. "Mom! Mom! You have to get off that toilet and come look at the dog!" "What?" "You have to get off that toilet and come look at Zoey! She's sitting! I've never seen her sit before! Hurry!" I sat there for a moment and contemplated the humor of the situation and the earnest look on her face. "Would you mind if I got done using the bathroom first?" She looked surprised, then replied, "Oh, well, okay!" She took off again, leaving both doors standing wide open as usual, because really, who needs privacy? And with that, I came to believe with certainty that the person who designed our home was a man. French doors on a bathroom with no lock...definitely not the creation of any mother in the world!
Monday, January 7, 2013
AFV Update
Our experience with the show America's Funniest Home Videos has been wonderful! Everyone associated with the show has been so kind to our family. We will never forget how much fun we had traveling to California and being named a weekly $10,000 winner! Being on the show has led to a lot of questions, so I will try to answer a few of them for those who have asked.
AFV FAQ:
1) Did they give you the money right then?
A: No, they sent it to us a couple of weeks after the show aired on ABC.
2) Did you have to pay taxes on the money?
A: Yes, the state of California got their piece of the pie before we got ours.
3) Did they pay for your trip?
A: Yes, they paid for the flight, hotel room, food, and all travel expenses.
4) When are you going back?
A: We will film the show on January 19th. It will air sometime in February. I promise to let everyone know an exact date as soon as we know!
5) How will they decide who wins the $100,000?
A: Originally we were told that people would be able to vote for their favorite video online. Then we were told there had been a change. We will film the show at a larger venue than last time, and the larger studio audience will vote to determine the winner. So yes, we will know who won before we come home, and no, we still won't be able to tell anybody for a month!
Several people have asked about the tax thing, particularly if we win the $100,000 prize. Actually, they have said things like, "Man, do you realize how much you're going to have to pay in taxes if you win that money?" To which I say: Yes, we are going to have to pay taxes on the money if we win it. But no matter how much we have to pay in taxes, whatever is left will be more than we started with, so it's hard for me to complain! My kids are overjoyed at the idea of playing with confetti. Seriously. They have already informed me multiple times that even if we don't win, we will still get to play with confetti. And that's what's important, right?
One of my favorite moments in this whole thing happened the day the prize money check arrived in the mail. I held up the FedEx envelope excitedly and said, "Look girls! Guess what's in here? It's a check! It's the prize money from AFV!" Savannah began to dance around, but Sharlee looked a little confused...and sad. "What on Earth is wrong with you?" I asked. She looked down at her feet and said, "I guess I just thought it would be in a bag." Gotta love some cartoons!
AFV FAQ:
1) Did they give you the money right then?
A: No, they sent it to us a couple of weeks after the show aired on ABC.
2) Did you have to pay taxes on the money?
A: Yes, the state of California got their piece of the pie before we got ours.
3) Did they pay for your trip?
A: Yes, they paid for the flight, hotel room, food, and all travel expenses.
4) When are you going back?
A: We will film the show on January 19th. It will air sometime in February. I promise to let everyone know an exact date as soon as we know!
5) How will they decide who wins the $100,000?
A: Originally we were told that people would be able to vote for their favorite video online. Then we were told there had been a change. We will film the show at a larger venue than last time, and the larger studio audience will vote to determine the winner. So yes, we will know who won before we come home, and no, we still won't be able to tell anybody for a month!
Several people have asked about the tax thing, particularly if we win the $100,000 prize. Actually, they have said things like, "Man, do you realize how much you're going to have to pay in taxes if you win that money?" To which I say: Yes, we are going to have to pay taxes on the money if we win it. But no matter how much we have to pay in taxes, whatever is left will be more than we started with, so it's hard for me to complain! My kids are overjoyed at the idea of playing with confetti. Seriously. They have already informed me multiple times that even if we don't win, we will still get to play with confetti. And that's what's important, right?
One of my favorite moments in this whole thing happened the day the prize money check arrived in the mail. I held up the FedEx envelope excitedly and said, "Look girls! Guess what's in here? It's a check! It's the prize money from AFV!" Savannah began to dance around, but Sharlee looked a little confused...and sad. "What on Earth is wrong with you?" I asked. She looked down at her feet and said, "I guess I just thought it would be in a bag." Gotta love some cartoons!
Sunday, January 6, 2013
QuickDerm
As we all know, advertising is everywhere. I debated for a long time over whether to add advertising to my blog, but the fact is that companies pay you to do things like that. Since my goal is to one day make writing my job, it's going to have to bring in some revenue at some point! I allow Google to place ads on my site (no doubt you've noticed those) but I have added one thing myself. The new link to a product called QuickDerm is special! My husband and I use, love, and sell QuickDerm because we believe it is a fantastic product. It is locally produced and marketed, and we are personal friends of the company's owner. This amazing ointment and spray were designed to treat hard-to-heal wounds. It was developed to treat ulcers in diabetic people, and it is safe for use on any animal, even exotic pets like lizards! It can be used to treat hotspots, lick granulomas, cuts, paw/pad injuries, burns, and much, much more. If you believe in locally produced, American made products, this one is a great one!
And on a side note, I left one thing out of the post about my daughter's Christmas play. As you can imagine, dealing with so many small children at one time can be a nerve wracking experience to say the least. Kids misbehaving, characters running this way and that. So it didn't really surprise me when I walked into the dress rehearsal, which was enjoying the uh, talents, of the kid playing the part of Jesus banging on the piano. Just as I opened the door, I heard the director (a school teacher by trade) bellow, "Jesus, get off the piano!" Yep. Didn't surprise me, but it did make me giggle.
And on a side note, I left one thing out of the post about my daughter's Christmas play. As you can imagine, dealing with so many small children at one time can be a nerve wracking experience to say the least. Kids misbehaving, characters running this way and that. So it didn't really surprise me when I walked into the dress rehearsal, which was enjoying the uh, talents, of the kid playing the part of Jesus banging on the piano. Just as I opened the door, I heard the director (a school teacher by trade) bellow, "Jesus, get off the piano!" Yep. Didn't surprise me, but it did make me giggle.
The "Perfect" Mom
Today I want to dispel a myth or two. The other day a friend I haven't seen in quite some time was over at our house. With no kids of her own, she has recently become the stepmother of two precious children. As she was getting ready to leave, she shared with me that she has learned to cook, clean, and all the other tasks that go along with being a mom. And then she said something that blew me away. She actually looked at me and said, "I mean, I'm not like you. You're like, the perfect mom. You're still my go-to mom when I don't know how to do something." Now what do you say to something like that? The smart ass in me was thinking, "Boy, I've sure got you fooled! I must be a really great actress!"
So here's what I would like to say: If I, in the writing of this blog, have ever implied in any way, shape, or form that I am the "perfect" anything, please accept my most sincere apologies. Anything of the sort was completely coincidental and totally unintentional! This project was in no way meant to paint a rosy picture of the perfect family. It was actually quite the opposite. After many years, I finally learned to laugh at myself. To stop trying so hard to be perfect. To admit that I was not Superwoman; that there is a certain amount of things that I can accomplish in one day, and those that don't get done will still be there tomorrow. And that, regardless of what reality TV producers would have you think, there are no perfect families.
My goal in writing this was to record my thoughts and feelings for my kids to have (much) later on, and to maybe give someone a good giggle over something that happened to us. I was not a perfect person before I was a mother, and I certainly have not become one since I gave birth. I did not have a "natural" childbirth. I brought my babies into the world in a hospital, while I was heavily medicated. I did not save, bury, or do anything else weird with my placenta. I did not breastfeed my kids until they were four or practice attachment parenting. I used disposable diapers and store bought baby food.
I am not Betty Crocker. I am not Martha Stewart. I am not the Mother of the Year. I forget to send lunches to school. I let my child spend an entire night with no underwear under her pajamas. (In my defense, she is six years old, and she does know which one and have access to the drawer where the underwear lives. When I asked, "Have you brushed your teeth?" before bed, it never occurred to me to add, "And are you wearing panties?") I forget to brush the baby's teeth from time to time. I let my children wear clothes that have a stain on them. I prepare meals that aren't necessarily "healthy" and allow my kids to eat sugary cereals. I have never completed a Pinterest project. I forget the words to lullabies and sometimes fake a sore throat to keep from singing. I lose my temper and my mind from time to time.
Whew! Nowhere in that description does the word "perfect" come to mind. I would love to say that I put my heart, soul, and every ounce of energy I can muster into being a great mother every single day. That would be what is known as a lie. I do the best I can, most of the time. And sometimes I totally suck at being a mom and freely admit it.
I especially love it when celebrities write about parenting, no doubt while their babies are being cared for by the nanny, and try to convince me that they're a mom, "just like" me. Sorry, Jenny McCarthy. I loved your books, but the only thing that you and I have in common is that we are female and gave birth to another human being. And Beyonce is just like the rest of us...if you don't count the personal trainer, full time chef, full time nanny, and zillions of dollars. She can afford to spend her time working on her figure.
I've said all this to say: Moms, please don't compare yourself to anyone else, most especially me. You are the parent that God hand selected for your child. Keep in mind that lots of kids think their mom is perfect, just because she's theirs. I know I did. It's a lot of pressure, this whole being responsible for someone else thingy. But it's worth it. Imperfections and all.
So here's what I would like to say: If I, in the writing of this blog, have ever implied in any way, shape, or form that I am the "perfect" anything, please accept my most sincere apologies. Anything of the sort was completely coincidental and totally unintentional! This project was in no way meant to paint a rosy picture of the perfect family. It was actually quite the opposite. After many years, I finally learned to laugh at myself. To stop trying so hard to be perfect. To admit that I was not Superwoman; that there is a certain amount of things that I can accomplish in one day, and those that don't get done will still be there tomorrow. And that, regardless of what reality TV producers would have you think, there are no perfect families.
My goal in writing this was to record my thoughts and feelings for my kids to have (much) later on, and to maybe give someone a good giggle over something that happened to us. I was not a perfect person before I was a mother, and I certainly have not become one since I gave birth. I did not have a "natural" childbirth. I brought my babies into the world in a hospital, while I was heavily medicated. I did not save, bury, or do anything else weird with my placenta. I did not breastfeed my kids until they were four or practice attachment parenting. I used disposable diapers and store bought baby food.
I am not Betty Crocker. I am not Martha Stewart. I am not the Mother of the Year. I forget to send lunches to school. I let my child spend an entire night with no underwear under her pajamas. (In my defense, she is six years old, and she does know which one and have access to the drawer where the underwear lives. When I asked, "Have you brushed your teeth?" before bed, it never occurred to me to add, "And are you wearing panties?") I forget to brush the baby's teeth from time to time. I let my children wear clothes that have a stain on them. I prepare meals that aren't necessarily "healthy" and allow my kids to eat sugary cereals. I have never completed a Pinterest project. I forget the words to lullabies and sometimes fake a sore throat to keep from singing. I lose my temper and my mind from time to time.
Whew! Nowhere in that description does the word "perfect" come to mind. I would love to say that I put my heart, soul, and every ounce of energy I can muster into being a great mother every single day. That would be what is known as a lie. I do the best I can, most of the time. And sometimes I totally suck at being a mom and freely admit it.
I especially love it when celebrities write about parenting, no doubt while their babies are being cared for by the nanny, and try to convince me that they're a mom, "just like" me. Sorry, Jenny McCarthy. I loved your books, but the only thing that you and I have in common is that we are female and gave birth to another human being. And Beyonce is just like the rest of us...if you don't count the personal trainer, full time chef, full time nanny, and zillions of dollars. She can afford to spend her time working on her figure.
I've said all this to say: Moms, please don't compare yourself to anyone else, most especially me. You are the parent that God hand selected for your child. Keep in mind that lots of kids think their mom is perfect, just because she's theirs. I know I did. It's a lot of pressure, this whole being responsible for someone else thingy. But it's worth it. Imperfections and all.
Saturday, January 5, 2013
Are you a COW?
The Christmas season is always full of church events for us, and this year was no different. Sheridan was in her very first play this year, complete with costume change, and God bless Mrs. Linda for taking on such a thing. I have learned to relax, somewhat, when my older kids participate in something like this (or maybe it was my migraine medicine that was helping) but having the little one on stage in front of people from three churches was something new. Her first appearance was as a star in "Twinkle, twinkle little star" and since she was able to follow her sisters on stage and twirl around, I wasn't too worried about that one. How 14 twirling girls in puffy skirts managed to get through that number without having anyone go toppling down the stairs was truly divine intervention.
The main challenge for me was keeping my three little cherubs quiet backstage. They converse in a stage whisper pretty much 24/7, so explaining to them that sound travels and the people out front could hear them was about as productive as nailing Jell-o to a tree. Finally in desperation I handed Sheridan a snack cup, the theory being that if her mouth was full at least she wouldn't be able to talk. (Yeah, right!) Naturally, I got caught up in helping the other two change their costumes and promptly forgot all about the snack cup...until my little sheep hit the stage with it still in her hand. I'm pretty sure this was the only nativity scene in history that involved a sheep holding purple Gerber snack cup. As I was crossing my fingers that no one had seen it and perhaps she wouldn't draw any extra attention to herself, she looked up at the older child next to her and exclaimed loudly, "Are you a COW?" Oh, well, so much for going incognito. The audience loved it, and as far as I know nobody running the program was one of those OCD, it-must-be-perfect or the holiday season will be ruined type people. And if they were, all I can say is you knew she was two years old when you gave her the part!
We also attended (much to the chagrin of my husband and kids) our church's annual Christmas cantata. I love church Christmas music, and I wanted my kids to hear it, too. So on a particularly rainy, cold, and dreary Sunday, we headed to our sister church. We made it just in time to get a seat - on the second row. My husband is a back row Methodist in the truest sense of the word, so for me to not only make him go to the cantata but also sit at the front was a double whammy. Add to that the fact that every single time the choir would finish a song, right in those two seconds before the man with the speaking part would start narrating, my baby would announce loudly, "Now we can go home!" So much for sneaking in and sitting quietly on the back row.
I suppose my biggest blunder of the holiday season this year (other than not being able to find the stocking stuffers I bought - see a previous post about that) happened on our annual trip to Jackson. As everyone was distributing their gifts, I was hit with the awful realization that I had left my cousins' daughters' gifts at home. The sad part was, I had purchased them nearly a month in advance at a swanky store in Tupelo, had them wrapped professionally, and hid them in my closet. Right when everyone started opening presents I remembered them...and the fact that they were still sitting in my closet. To use one of my husband's expressions, I think I said something along the lines of, "Son of a motherless goat." Then I started apologizing profusely and trying to explain to the two teenagers in the room how my mommy brain had wreaked havoc on me again. They did not look impressed, but were gracious just the same.
But the best part of all came when my cousin looked up and said, "You aren't going to believe this. I forgot your present, too!" Ah, yes, vindication! I can't tell you how relieved I was. And with that, I must say, it just doesn't take much to make me happy these days.
The main challenge for me was keeping my three little cherubs quiet backstage. They converse in a stage whisper pretty much 24/7, so explaining to them that sound travels and the people out front could hear them was about as productive as nailing Jell-o to a tree. Finally in desperation I handed Sheridan a snack cup, the theory being that if her mouth was full at least she wouldn't be able to talk. (Yeah, right!) Naturally, I got caught up in helping the other two change their costumes and promptly forgot all about the snack cup...until my little sheep hit the stage with it still in her hand. I'm pretty sure this was the only nativity scene in history that involved a sheep holding purple Gerber snack cup. As I was crossing my fingers that no one had seen it and perhaps she wouldn't draw any extra attention to herself, she looked up at the older child next to her and exclaimed loudly, "Are you a COW?" Oh, well, so much for going incognito. The audience loved it, and as far as I know nobody running the program was one of those OCD, it-must-be-perfect or the holiday season will be ruined type people. And if they were, all I can say is you knew she was two years old when you gave her the part!
We also attended (much to the chagrin of my husband and kids) our church's annual Christmas cantata. I love church Christmas music, and I wanted my kids to hear it, too. So on a particularly rainy, cold, and dreary Sunday, we headed to our sister church. We made it just in time to get a seat - on the second row. My husband is a back row Methodist in the truest sense of the word, so for me to not only make him go to the cantata but also sit at the front was a double whammy. Add to that the fact that every single time the choir would finish a song, right in those two seconds before the man with the speaking part would start narrating, my baby would announce loudly, "Now we can go home!" So much for sneaking in and sitting quietly on the back row.
I suppose my biggest blunder of the holiday season this year (other than not being able to find the stocking stuffers I bought - see a previous post about that) happened on our annual trip to Jackson. As everyone was distributing their gifts, I was hit with the awful realization that I had left my cousins' daughters' gifts at home. The sad part was, I had purchased them nearly a month in advance at a swanky store in Tupelo, had them wrapped professionally, and hid them in my closet. Right when everyone started opening presents I remembered them...and the fact that they were still sitting in my closet. To use one of my husband's expressions, I think I said something along the lines of, "Son of a motherless goat." Then I started apologizing profusely and trying to explain to the two teenagers in the room how my mommy brain had wreaked havoc on me again. They did not look impressed, but were gracious just the same.
But the best part of all came when my cousin looked up and said, "You aren't going to believe this. I forgot your present, too!" Ah, yes, vindication! I can't tell you how relieved I was. And with that, I must say, it just doesn't take much to make me happy these days.
Friday, January 4, 2013
Can we get to 200?
First of all, I want to say "thank you" to each and every person who has enjoyed my blog. I especially want to thank those of you who have seen something that you liked and shared it with your friends. I am really trying to achieve a personal goal today. I think it would be a great way to kick off 2013. The most people who have ever read my blog in a single day is 180. Today I am at 139. I would absolutely love to make it to 200 for the first time ever! So if you have read something you enjoy, please feel free to share it with your friends. I would really appreciate it!
Superdog, aka Zoey
People used to ask me about my kids. Now it seems that they ask about my English bulldog more often. Yes, we still have Zoey, the bulldog my husband rescued from the euthanasia room at the shelter where he works. The rest of the story is this - he had been medicating her eye for several days, thinking that because she was a purebred dog surely she wouldn't be pulled for euthanasia. Then one day he walked in to do the very worst part of his job at the shelter and there she was. When she saw him, she jumped up and headed to the front of her cage wagging her butt (she doesn't really have a tail) so excited to see someone she knew. I couldn't have put her down, either, and if you think you could have, you aren't nearly as softhearted as we are. So now she lives with us.
I am happy to report that she has gained a significant amount of weight, although she's still skinnier than I'd like. We estimated that she weighed about half what she should have when she got here. Her eye is completely well. She still needs a dental cleaning and to be spayed, so we are having those things done after she gains a little more weight.
I truly believe she may be the worst smelling dog on the planet. Yesterday my daughter came in my bathroom and said, "Mom, I smelled Zoey coming down the stairs. It smells like she threw up or something."
"Oh, really? Well, is she still in her bed?'
"I dunno."
"Well, go look!"
She disappeared for a few seconds and then came back. "Yep, she's still in her bed. And she's snoring. I've never seen a dog that could snore!"
"Yes, and she stinks. She can stink and snore at the same time. She's very talented."
She thought for a moment and then said, "Wow! Stinking and snoring at the same time? It's amazing, is what it is."
Zoey has total dragon breath, and her body isn't much better. (And yes, we have given her several baths. They just don't last very long.) Last night at dinner we were discussing how horrible she smells. My husband seems fairly shocked by all the complaints about her aroma. This is the point where I share with you that he has the worst sinus trouble on the planet. He can't smell crap. Literally. Which I suppose is what makes him able to both do the job that he does and enjoy my cooking so much. I truly have my doubts that he has ever actually tasted anything that I prepared. But that is a story for another day.
As we were discussing how bad Zoey smells, he responded with the familiar, "Well, why don't y'all give her a bath?" My daughter looked at him, and in all seriousness said, "Daddy, we have delicate flower hands. We can't give a dog a bath!"
Ah, yes, my little delicate flowers. Just makes a mama proud. Sheesh.
I am happy to report that she has gained a significant amount of weight, although she's still skinnier than I'd like. We estimated that she weighed about half what she should have when she got here. Her eye is completely well. She still needs a dental cleaning and to be spayed, so we are having those things done after she gains a little more weight.
I truly believe she may be the worst smelling dog on the planet. Yesterday my daughter came in my bathroom and said, "Mom, I smelled Zoey coming down the stairs. It smells like she threw up or something."
"Oh, really? Well, is she still in her bed?'
"I dunno."
"Well, go look!"
She disappeared for a few seconds and then came back. "Yep, she's still in her bed. And she's snoring. I've never seen a dog that could snore!"
"Yes, and she stinks. She can stink and snore at the same time. She's very talented."
She thought for a moment and then said, "Wow! Stinking and snoring at the same time? It's amazing, is what it is."
Zoey has total dragon breath, and her body isn't much better. (And yes, we have given her several baths. They just don't last very long.) Last night at dinner we were discussing how horrible she smells. My husband seems fairly shocked by all the complaints about her aroma. This is the point where I share with you that he has the worst sinus trouble on the planet. He can't smell crap. Literally. Which I suppose is what makes him able to both do the job that he does and enjoy my cooking so much. I truly have my doubts that he has ever actually tasted anything that I prepared. But that is a story for another day.
As we were discussing how bad Zoey smells, he responded with the familiar, "Well, why don't y'all give her a bath?" My daughter looked at him, and in all seriousness said, "Daddy, we have delicate flower hands. We can't give a dog a bath!"
Ah, yes, my little delicate flowers. Just makes a mama proud. Sheesh.
Thursday, January 3, 2013
New stuff on the way!
Just wanted to let everyone know that new material is on the way! I have so much to write about it's not funny. My kids are headed back to school tomorrow, so hopefully I can catch up on some of the craziness that has been going on around here. I have Zoey stories, Christmas play stories, AFV updates, and so much more! We are headed back to California later this month, so I will be asking for everyone's positive thoughts. We sure want to hear Tom Bergeron say our names again!
Wednesday, January 2, 2013
Hello to my friends around the world!
Just wanted to say a quick "hello" to all of you who are enjoying my blog in China! I see that you guys are often reading while I am sleeping. Just wanted to let you know that I appreciate you very much. I think that motherhood is the universal language. Hope you are enjoying these stories as much as I enjoy writing them.
And just for fun...there's nothing like having your child offer a guest in your home a Christmas cookie that was given to you as a gift, then turn and leave the room with, "We got these a really LONG time ago!" Just makes a mother proud. Can I crawl under the rug now? Sigh.
And just for fun...there's nothing like having your child offer a guest in your home a Christmas cookie that was given to you as a gift, then turn and leave the room with, "We got these a really LONG time ago!" Just makes a mother proud. Can I crawl under the rug now? Sigh.
Tuesday, January 1, 2013
So Long, 2012!
2012 has come to a close. Fortunately for all of us, the world didn't come to an end. I must say that, having survived several other apocalypses in my lifetime, one when I was in eighth grade and countless others since then, this one was the biggest letdown. Thanks to social media and at least a dozen History Channel documentaries about the all-knowing Mayans and their calendar, there was a good deal of speculation about whether this one was THE one. I once had a music minister absolutely terrify me and a group of kids at church by telling us all about how, according to him (in his infinite knowledge) the end of the world was coming, and SOON. My husband had a similar experience with a televangelist when he was a kid. I thought it was pretty neat that our mothers both shared the same Bible verse with us for comfort, the one that says not even Jesus knows when the end of days is coming.
It seems like everyone is looking ahead, talking about what they didn't do in 2012, and making resolutions about what they are going to do in 2013. Looking back on it, 2012 was a phenomenal year for our family. We took a free trip to California, made an appearance on national television, and even won $10,000! Kirk and I launched our equine spa and rehabilitation business, which has naturally had its share of challenges but seems to be rolling now. Perhaps I am one step closer to my childhood dream that led me to vet school, working with horses. We also announced our affiliation with a product called QuickDerm, which I hope everyone will be hearing a lot more about in the future.
Equally as exciting for me was the launch of this blog and the upcoming publication of my first book. When my personal blog began getting a lot of hits from a Russian website last year, I was very shocked and disappointed to learn that it was a pornography site. I felt like I had no other choice but to make my blog private, for the safety of my children. Ironically, it was just such a thing that caused me to hesitate when someone suggested that I start a blog to begin with. However, as always seems to be the case, there was a bigger plan in place for me. After the blog was no longer public, I truly missed sharing the craziness that is our family and interacting with the people who read it. So I started this one, and it has become a source of great joy for me. I can only hope that those of you who read it enjoy it as much as I do.
I am thrilled to say that my book is steadily marching toward publication in the next few months. The editing is done, and I am now waiting on the people working on the cover to finish their part of the production. One of my earliest childhood aspirations, even earlier than my desire to be a veterinarian, was my dream of becoming an author. I started out wanting to write fiction, but discovered that it was not what I was good at. I have been advised many times to write about what I "know." So that's what I decided to do. The most important thing I have learned to do recently is laugh at myself. I wrote my first book hoping that someone out there will realize they are not alone, that someone else has been through the very same things they are experiencing and lived to tell the tale. And if they get a good giggle out of it as well, then so much the better!
I sincerely appreciate each and every one of you who has taken time to read my posts this year. I love hearing your thoughts as well. I can't wait to see what 2013 has in store for our family!
It seems like everyone is looking ahead, talking about what they didn't do in 2012, and making resolutions about what they are going to do in 2013. Looking back on it, 2012 was a phenomenal year for our family. We took a free trip to California, made an appearance on national television, and even won $10,000! Kirk and I launched our equine spa and rehabilitation business, which has naturally had its share of challenges but seems to be rolling now. Perhaps I am one step closer to my childhood dream that led me to vet school, working with horses. We also announced our affiliation with a product called QuickDerm, which I hope everyone will be hearing a lot more about in the future.
Equally as exciting for me was the launch of this blog and the upcoming publication of my first book. When my personal blog began getting a lot of hits from a Russian website last year, I was very shocked and disappointed to learn that it was a pornography site. I felt like I had no other choice but to make my blog private, for the safety of my children. Ironically, it was just such a thing that caused me to hesitate when someone suggested that I start a blog to begin with. However, as always seems to be the case, there was a bigger plan in place for me. After the blog was no longer public, I truly missed sharing the craziness that is our family and interacting with the people who read it. So I started this one, and it has become a source of great joy for me. I can only hope that those of you who read it enjoy it as much as I do.
I am thrilled to say that my book is steadily marching toward publication in the next few months. The editing is done, and I am now waiting on the people working on the cover to finish their part of the production. One of my earliest childhood aspirations, even earlier than my desire to be a veterinarian, was my dream of becoming an author. I started out wanting to write fiction, but discovered that it was not what I was good at. I have been advised many times to write about what I "know." So that's what I decided to do. The most important thing I have learned to do recently is laugh at myself. I wrote my first book hoping that someone out there will realize they are not alone, that someone else has been through the very same things they are experiencing and lived to tell the tale. And if they get a good giggle out of it as well, then so much the better!
I sincerely appreciate each and every one of you who has taken time to read my posts this year. I love hearing your thoughts as well. I can't wait to see what 2013 has in store for our family!
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