Superdog, aka Zoey

People used to ask me about my kids. Now it seems that they ask about my English bulldog more often. Yes, we still have Zoey, the bulldog my husband rescued from the euthanasia room at the shelter where he works. The rest of the story is this - he had been medicating her eye for several days, thinking that because she was a purebred dog surely she wouldn't be pulled for euthanasia. Then one day he walked in to do the very worst part of his job at the shelter and there she was. When she saw him, she jumped up and headed to the front of her cage wagging her butt (she doesn't really have a tail) so excited to see someone she knew. I couldn't have put her down, either, and if you think you could have, you aren't nearly as softhearted as we are. So now she lives with us.
I am happy to report that she has gained a significant amount of weight, although she's still skinnier than I'd like. We estimated that she weighed about half what she should have when she got here. Her eye is completely well. She still needs a dental cleaning and to be spayed, so we are having those things done after she gains a little more weight.
I truly believe she may be the worst smelling dog on the planet. Yesterday my daughter came in my bathroom and said, "Mom, I smelled Zoey coming down the stairs. It smells like she threw up or something."
"Oh, really? Well, is she still in her bed?'
"I dunno."
"Well, go look!"
She disappeared for a few seconds and then came back. "Yep, she's still in her bed. And she's snoring. I've never seen a dog that could snore!"
"Yes, and she stinks. She can stink and snore at the same time. She's very talented."
She thought for a moment and then said, "Wow! Stinking and snoring at the same time? It's amazing, is what it is."
Zoey has total dragon breath, and her body isn't much better. (And yes, we have given her several baths. They just don't last very long.) Last night at dinner we were discussing how horrible she smells. My husband seems fairly shocked by all the complaints about her aroma. This is the point where I share with you that he has the worst sinus trouble on the planet. He can't smell crap. Literally. Which I suppose is what makes him able to both do the job that he does and enjoy my cooking so much. I truly have my doubts that he has ever actually tasted anything that I prepared. But that is a story for another day.
As we were discussing how bad Zoey smells, he responded with the familiar, "Well, why don't y'all give her a bath?" My daughter looked at him, and in all seriousness said, "Daddy, we have delicate flower hands. We can't give a dog a bath!"
Ah, yes, my little delicate flowers. Just makes a mama proud. Sheesh.