The "Perfect" Mom

Today I want to dispel a myth or two. The other day a friend I haven't seen in quite some time was over at our house. With no kids of her own, she has recently become the stepmother of two precious children. As she was getting ready to leave, she shared with me that she has learned to cook, clean, and all the other tasks that go along with being a mom. And then she said something that blew me away. She actually looked at me and said, "I mean, I'm not like you. You're like, the perfect mom. You're still my go-to mom when I don't know how to do something." Now what do you say to something like that? The smart ass in me was thinking, "Boy, I've sure got you fooled! I must be a really great actress!"
So here's what I would like to say: If I, in the writing of this blog, have ever implied in any way, shape, or form that I am the "perfect" anything, please accept my most sincere apologies. Anything of the sort was completely coincidental and totally unintentional! This project was in no way meant to paint a rosy picture of the perfect family. It was actually quite the opposite. After many years, I finally learned to laugh at myself. To stop trying so hard to be perfect. To admit that I was not Superwoman; that there is a certain amount of things that I can accomplish in one day, and those that don't get done will still be there tomorrow. And that, regardless of what reality TV producers would have you think, there are no perfect families.
My goal in writing this was to record my thoughts and feelings for my kids to have (much) later on, and to maybe give someone a good giggle over something that happened to us. I was not a perfect person before I was a mother, and I certainly have not become one since I gave birth. I did not have a "natural" childbirth. I brought my babies into the world in a hospital, while I was heavily medicated. I did not save, bury, or do anything else weird with my placenta. I did not breastfeed my kids until they were four or practice attachment parenting. I used disposable diapers and store bought baby food.
I am not Betty Crocker. I am not Martha Stewart. I am not the Mother of the Year. I forget to send lunches to school. I let my child spend an entire night with no underwear under her pajamas. (In my defense, she is six years old, and she does know which one and have access to the drawer where the underwear lives. When I asked, "Have you brushed your teeth?" before bed, it never occurred to me to add, "And are you wearing panties?") I forget to brush the baby's teeth from time to time. I let my children wear clothes that have a stain on them. I prepare meals that aren't necessarily "healthy" and allow my kids to eat sugary cereals. I have never completed a Pinterest project. I forget the words to lullabies and sometimes fake a sore throat to keep from singing. I lose my temper and my mind from time to time.
Whew! Nowhere in that description does the word "perfect" come to mind. I would love to say that I put my heart, soul, and every ounce of energy I can muster into being a great mother every single day. That would be what is known as a lie. I do the best I can, most of the time. And sometimes I totally suck at being a mom and freely admit it.
I especially love it when celebrities write about parenting, no doubt while their babies are being cared for by the nanny, and try to convince me that they're a mom, "just like" me. Sorry, Jenny McCarthy. I loved your books, but the only thing that you and I have in common is that we are female and gave birth to another human being. And Beyonce is just like the rest of us...if you don't count the personal trainer, full time chef, full time nanny, and zillions of dollars. She can afford to spend her time working on her figure.
I've said all this to say: Moms, please don't compare yourself to anyone else, most especially me. You are the parent that God hand selected for your child. Keep in mind that lots of kids think their mom is perfect, just because she's theirs. I know I did. It's a lot of pressure, this whole being responsible for someone else thingy. But it's worth it. Imperfections and all.