Everything Comes at a Price

I have decided what the next technological advancement should be. I need something that will take my thoughts directly from my brain and transfer them to my computer. That way, I could blog from my treadmill. I'm not sure if it's the result of trying not to think about the burning in my legs while gasping for air, but I come up with some pretty interesting stuff during my morning workouts. Since my husband was kind enough to point out that running was "mostly mental" anyway, I tell myself that if I can just hang in there for the first three minutes or so, it will get easier, relatively speaking. Sometimes that works. I have more energy, looser clothes, and a somewhat smaller waist thanks to my treadmill. My scale, however, stubbornly refuses to admit that I've lost a pound. Butthole. Keep it up and I'll trade you in for a newer model.
Anyway, this morning I was thinking about priorities. One of my favorite barrel racers, Christy Loflin, mentioned in one of her Facebook status updates that the first part of her year hadn't exactly gone as planned. She listed the rodeos she had been to and then revealed that she hadn't won a dime at any of them. She went on to say that she had missed her daughter's barrel races and her son's hockey games. Not exactly what she had in mind when she set out on the rodeo trail.
So here's my point: Everything comes at a price. Last year when she made the WNFR, I'm sure it seemed like the hours on the road and the nights away from home and family were all worth it. I'm going to go out on a limb and say there have been times in the last couple of months that it probably didn't feel that way. But her professional life has been all about choices and priorities, which resulted in accomplished goals and dreams fulfilled. She is one of the lucky ones.
I love barrel racing. I have been at it for many years. It's fair to say that I have accomplished some of my goals. Like most of the people in the world, I have plenty of unfulfilled dreams as well. But making those dreams a reality comes with a price, and at least for now, it's not one I'm willing to pay. My mother had a terminal illness for most of my life, and she never missed a single thing I did unless she was just too sick from the chemotherapy to be there. That's the kind of mom I feel like I need to be.
There's a barrel race in Texarkana I reallllly want to go to this weekend, but my babies are riding in our local winter series. They are winning first and second for the year in the Pee Wee barrel class. Their dad has tried and tried to get me to go to Texarkana by myself and let him take the girls to their run. But I can honestly say that there is no place on Earth I'd rather be than standing in that alleyway watching them ride. Now in all fairness, it's worth pointing out that I don't have an NFR barrel horse standing in my barn begging to be hauled. I've never been in that situation, and I feel certain it would change some things! But for now, for me, I know that when I die I'm not going to be sitting around wishing I'd gone to one more barrel race. I'm going to be saying that I wish I'd spent one more day with my family. Maybe that's why I've never been blessed with a truly outstanding horse. Maybe God only gives them to the people who are willing to pay the price to let those horses be great. I don't know, but it's the kind of problem I'd like to have. Either way, I'm going to be in Holly Springs this weekend cheering for my girls. And that's how it should be...for now.