What Miss Kay wants, Miss Kay gets.

I have a confession to make. I love Duck Dynasty! Yes, I realize that these guys are not doing much to promote the idea that the South is not entirely full of rednecks. Some of us are extremely well educated, we wear something other than camo, and we don't believe that you should either "shoot it, stuff it, or marry it." But they are so freaking funny! I just can't help myself. I don't really know if they have to try, or if it just comes naturally, but I laugh out loud every single time I watch that show.
So last night, my husband and I did our traditional Wednesday night teamwork, getting the kids in the bed precisely on time so that we could enjoy the one show we actually sit down to watch almost every week. In this particular episode, Miss Kay kept changing her mind about which couch she wanted in her living room. Since I, too have been known to change my mind a few times, I could completely understand where she was coming from. Then her son asked his dad, Phil, to take his side in the debate. (Mainly, he didn't want her to change her mind because he was tired of moving and returning couches to the store.) And then Phil said something that really struck a chord with me. He said something along the lines of, "Hmm, let me think about this. Is Miss Kay an incredible cook? Yes. Does she take good care of me? Yes. And has she ever turned me down for some lovin'? Nope. What Miss Kay wants, Miss Kay gets." And here's what I loved about those statements: my husband has EXACTLY the same attitude.
Now, I am the first one to say that "incredible cook" does not describe me. But I make the effort, and that's what's important. Do I cook a full meal every night? Of course not. But when I do, I try to consider what everyone in my family likes to eat, most importantly my husband. And I do try to take care of him, whether it's by having his clothes clean and ready, or listening to him talk about what a rotten day he had at work. And I don't make a habit of turning him down for some lovin' either. What men don't get at home, they will look for elsewhere. I'm just saying.
All of this made me really think about marriage in general. I have told my husband a hundred times that he should write a book on "husbandry" because he's so good at it. It really drives me nuts to hear a woman run her husband down in front of her friends, on Facebook, or in a crowd. It always makes me want to say, "Look, at some point you thought enough of this ol' boy to marry him. So either you chose poorly or you're being too hard on him." Please let me qualify the previous statement by saying that I know and understand that some men are dogs and they deserve to be kicked to the curb. I'm talking about the ones who are basically good people who all of a sudden can't live up to their wives' expectations.
That said, marriage takes two people working together to be successful. I had always heard that marriage was "work" and I didn't understand what that meant until I was in one. Falling in love with my husband was the easy part. He is easy to get along with and easy to love. The "work" part of it for me comes in when we are tired, stressed, and feeling overwhelmed by life in general. The work is being patient, loving, and supportive when what you really want to do is be cranky and selfish. And one person can't do all the work.
My favorite times with my husband are spent discussing our future and how we plan to accomplish our goals. I love to feel that I am part of a team; that we are working together to get where we want to go in life. And while part of my role is to be my husband's girlfriend and his cheerleader, I'm also an integral part of what keeps the ball rolling around here. I think women should acknowledge and embrace the power that they have, and then use it wisely. Just remember, the husband is the head of the household, but the wife is the neck. She can turn the head any way she wants. Use your power for good, ladies! ;)