Book Project Update

Everything has been finalized and approved to print! Preparation for the printing process should take about 10 days, then another 10 once the final product is ready to ship. In other words, it's possible that in less than a month I will be holding my first book in my hand! Hooray! The company did a fantastic job designing the cover - I gave them my ideas and they ran with them. I am so excited to see the finished project. Bucket list item crossed off!

Everything Comes at a Price

I have decided what the next technological advancement should be. I need something that will take my thoughts directly from my brain and transfer them to my computer. That way, I could blog from my treadmill. I'm not sure if it's the result of trying not to think about the burning in my legs while gasping for air, but I come up with some pretty interesting stuff during my morning workouts. Since my husband was kind enough to point out that running was "mostly mental" anyway, I tell myself that if I can just hang in there for the first three minutes or so, it will get easier, relatively speaking. Sometimes that works. I have more energy, looser clothes, and a somewhat smaller waist thanks to my treadmill. My scale, however, stubbornly refuses to admit that I've lost a pound. Butthole. Keep it up and I'll trade you in for a newer model.
Anyway, this morning I was thinking about priorities. One of my favorite barrel racers, Christy Loflin, mentioned in one of her Facebook status updates that the first part of her year hadn't exactly gone as planned. She listed the rodeos she had been to and then revealed that she hadn't won a dime at any of them. She went on to say that she had missed her daughter's barrel races and her son's hockey games. Not exactly what she had in mind when she set out on the rodeo trail.
So here's my point: Everything comes at a price. Last year when she made the WNFR, I'm sure it seemed like the hours on the road and the nights away from home and family were all worth it. I'm going to go out on a limb and say there have been times in the last couple of months that it probably didn't feel that way. But her professional life has been all about choices and priorities, which resulted in accomplished goals and dreams fulfilled. She is one of the lucky ones.
I love barrel racing. I have been at it for many years. It's fair to say that I have accomplished some of my goals. Like most of the people in the world, I have plenty of unfulfilled dreams as well. But making those dreams a reality comes with a price, and at least for now, it's not one I'm willing to pay. My mother had a terminal illness for most of my life, and she never missed a single thing I did unless she was just too sick from the chemotherapy to be there. That's the kind of mom I feel like I need to be.
There's a barrel race in Texarkana I reallllly want to go to this weekend, but my babies are riding in our local winter series. They are winning first and second for the year in the Pee Wee barrel class. Their dad has tried and tried to get me to go to Texarkana by myself and let him take the girls to their run. But I can honestly say that there is no place on Earth I'd rather be than standing in that alleyway watching them ride. Now in all fairness, it's worth pointing out that I don't have an NFR barrel horse standing in my barn begging to be hauled. I've never been in that situation, and I feel certain it would change some things! But for now, for me, I know that when I die I'm not going to be sitting around wishing I'd gone to one more barrel race. I'm going to be saying that I wish I'd spent one more day with my family. Maybe that's why I've never been blessed with a truly outstanding horse. Maybe God only gives them to the people who are willing to pay the price to let those horses be great. I don't know, but it's the kind of problem I'd like to have. Either way, I'm going to be in Holly Springs this weekend cheering for my girls. And that's how it should be...for now.

The Correction

As all good women do from time to time, I stand corrected. Remember when I mentioned that the candle/concert incident happened at THREE O'CLOCK in the morning and I couldn't quite remember what was said? My significant other has kindly reminded me. Specifically, he came in and said, "I read your post, and it was really funny, but you missed the whole point of the situation."
To which I said, "Excuse me?"
"Well, the whole point wasn't that I just busted out the chorus of "Every Rose" it was that I rewrote the song. To be specific, what I sang was: We both lie silently still in the dead of the night, our dog crapped on the floor and that ain't right!"
So there you go. Truth in the media. While I admit that I may have forgotten the details of the situation, I feel that I must point out that I was snatched from a deep sleep by the sound of doggy diarrhea. I'm going to blame the fact that I couldn't recall the precise remix of the Poison song on post traumatic stress disorder. Or mommy brain. Whichever.

Wakeup Call by Zoey

It's funny how things happen. I was just thinking that I should give everyone an update on our rescued bulldog, Zoey. Almost as if she read my mind, the other night she decided to do something blog-worthy. Before you get all excited, I should tell you that it was not something good. I'll get back to that in a minute. She is continuing to gain weight and has much more energy. Her skin and haircoat   look healthy, and her breath is drastically better. The breath may be the thing I'm most excited about. Her backbone doesn't stick up quite as far, and you can just barely see her ribs. She definitely has more life in her eyes, if that is quantifiable. All in all, she is starting to look like an old, but healthy dog!

Her favorite new trick is to wait until I flip my head over to blow dry the underside of my hair. As I obviously only need one hand to hold the hairdryer, she has decided that my free hand is available to pet her. She sits and watches me intently until I finish applying my makeup, then chooses the perfect moment and attacks. If there is such a thing as demanding to be petted, she has it down pat!

Several days ago, as my husband and I lay sleeping blissfully at two in the morning. We were both awakened at the exact same moment by the sound of something hitting the floor. Something loud, and something liquid. In perfect synchronization, we bolted upright in bed and cried, "Zoey!"

My husband, sitting up and rubbing his eyes, mumbled, "Did she pee?" Flipping on the light, I practically yelled, "Yeah, she peed, but that's not all!" Next to the giant pile that can only be described as a cow patty was Zoey, sitting there with an incredibly guilty and pitiful look on her face. Ushering her quickly out the door, my husband headed to the kitchen for cleaning supplies. While I was drying up pee with a towel and wondering to myself how in the world he could have thought that all she had done was pee, as the smell was making my eyes water, the love of my life returned from the kitchen.

While he was gone, I had discovered the culprit for this whole episode. There was something in the poop that didn't belong there. After a brief debate in which my husband was absolutely no help, I determined that the offending object was in fact a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup paper. Somewhere in my foggy, half sleeping mind I recalled asking Zoey what she was eating earlier in the day. Apparently someone left some Valentine candy unattended. Lovely.

This story does have a point, and here it is. When my soulmate returned from the kitchen, he had a pet odor eliminator candle in hand. He walked into the room waving it around, then suddenly giggled and said, "I feel like I'm at a rock concert!" And then, at 2:30 AM, right there in our bedroom, in his underwear and waving a candle, my husband belted out a chorus of "Every Rose has its Thorn."  Right then it occurred to me that Kirk is the only person in the world who could make me laugh while cleaning up dog poop in the middle of the night.

As we crawled back into bed, I said a silent prayer thanking God for such a great guy. He said something else I can't quite recall (hey, it was 3:00 AM by this point) and I dissolved into giggles again. I figure that if, after 15 years together, he can take something disgusting and turn it into something hysterical, I must have married the right one.  

Still Here!

For those who have wondered, I have not fallen off the face of the Earth, died, or retired! I've just had a few incredibly busy days. A 4:30am wakeup call two days in a row on a weekend is just wrong. I am still dragging, and I need a weekend to recover from my weekend! I hope to be back tomorrow with some more funnies - believe me, even though I stop occasionally, they never do!

Manhattan Beach

Several people have asked us where exactly the show was filmed. We flew into LAX, were picked up by a car service (because even we are not crazy enough to try to navigate traffic in Los Angeles in a rental car) and taken to the Manhattan Beach Marriott. It is a beautiful hotel that has a large fountain out front. The absolute highlight of my children's stay at this hotel both times has been the sunglass wearing yellow rubber duck floating in the fountain. The first time we were in LA, it was a football weekend, and USC was playing Oregon. We just assumed some smart aleck Oregon fan had "decorated" the hotel fountain with a duck. My kids loved it so much that I was really hoping it would be there when we arrived the second time. It was! My kids were overjoyed. Imagine how stupid I felt when, upon closer inspection, I realized that it was a chlorine dispenser. Oh, well, it gave my kids a thrill. We're easily amused, what can I tell you? Rednecks on vacation!
We all loved Manhattan Beach, and there was an awesome little shopping center within walking distance of the hotel, complete with a CVS. In the rush to get out of town, Kirk wasn't able to get a haircut before we left home. We figured surely the Disneyland Hotel (where we spent the first part of our trip) would have a barber shop (which it didn't) but then were able to find one near the Marriott. In conversation Kirk told the man cutting his hair why we were in town. I can't imagine how he knew we weren't native Californians. Southern accent, anyone? The gentleman finished his haircut with a flourish and assured him that this was a $100,000 haircut. When he got back to the room, Kirk told me all about how nice the guy was who cut his hair and how if we won he was definitely going back to give him a bigger tip. Naturally, the next day, after the taping was over, we did one of the most exciting things I have done in a very long time. We went back to that shop and, catching him totally off guard, we gave that sweet barber a bigger tip and a "thanks" for the $100,000 haircut!
I mentioned that there was a CVS in the same shopping center. We found ourselves in need of junk food and a necklace to replace Savannah's broken one, so we headed out. While we were collecting our "groceries," we got in line behind two completely stereotypical teenage California skater dudes, both of whom were buying Milk Duds. With typical teenage swagger, they headed out the door. The first kid dropped his skateboard, hopped on, and took off through the parking lot. Very slick. The second kid followed suit...but he forgot to allow for the rubber mat that triggers the automatic door. When he hopped on his skateboard and tried to take off, the wheels stayed put... and he faceplanted  right there on the sidewalk in front of God and everybody. Totally humiliated, he glanced around quickly trying to figure out if anyone saw him (we did) and ran off with his skateboard in hand. Our cashier laughed so hard I thought he was going to wet his pants. "Those little sh$%s come in here all the time!"
However, the neatest thing that happened to us in Manhattan Beach was right after the taping. As we sat down to eat after the show in a 50s themed diner, a group of college age kids came in and sat down. I noticed that one of them had on an AFV t-shirt, but didn't think much about it. During our meal, a young lady passed our table going to the restroom. On the way back, obviously distracted by something, she tripped over the "wet floor" sign and almost fell down. A few minutes later I became aware that a large group of people was standing behind out table. Apparently "grace" who tripped over the sign had been sent to confirm that we were who they thought we were. I heard, "I'm sorry, we hate to interrupt your dinner, but congratulations! We were in the studio audience!" Still completely in shock, all I could do was stammer, "Thank you!" I sure didn't mind the interruption, with what had just happened to us. But at least that was confirmation that someone else had seen it and I didn't dream the whole thing! I can't imagine being really famous.

Update on the book!

"If I Didn't Laugh, I'd Cry" the book is almost finished! I approved the second pass pages today! Now it is approved to print. As far as I know, the only thing I am lacking is approval of the cover, which I haven't seen yet. I am so excited! I have been ready to put this project to bed for quite some time now, and I really believe the end is in sight! I will continue to update you guys on when and where it will be available. I am hoping to have some artwork and/or shirts to go along with it as well! So many wonderful things going on in my life lately. I am truly, truly grateful.