Road Trip

Anyone who has known me for any period of time knows how much I put into my horses. They've gotten pushed down the priority list a bit since I became a mom, but in case you were wondering if I've crossed the line, I have proof. I spent the majority of my day last Thursday driving. Not for work, not for a barrel race, not to visit a long lost friend. Nope, I spent all day driving, a six plus hour round trip, to buy...wait for it...horse feed! For those of my non-horsey friends, yes, there are places closer to my house that sell feed. Just not the kind I want.
I have said before that I am committed to my barrel racing, and maybe after this I should be committed. I have a horse with a weight problem. He definitely looks more like a team roping horse than a barrel horse. OK, fine. He looks like he ate a team roping horse on the way to the barrel race. Not surprisingly, he doesn't have a whole lot of killer instinct when it comes time to run. If he could talk, I'm sure he'd say something like, "Look, they give money and prizes for placing in the 4D, too. Can't we just lope through the pattern and be done? I'd much rather do that. Then I won't have to get all sweaty and I won't be sore the next day. It's a win-win for everyone." He reminds me of the big, burly high school football player that everyone on the other team is scared of until they figure out that he doesn't have any heart.
My husband and I argue constantly over my horses' body condition. He wants them to be pleasantly plump, to which my response is, "Have you ever seen a fat sprinter? This is a race. He's supposed to look like a racehorse!" Right now he looks like a racehorse with a beer gut. We've cut his feed. We've moved him to smaller area with less grass and ridden him harder. He hasn't lost an ounce. So we decided to try a brand of horse feed we'd heard about that is supposed to change the way he digests his food, pull weight off of his belly, and add muscle to his topline.
Sounds great, right? Costs about the same as what we are feeding now. Everybody wins! Except for the fact that you can't get it where we live. There isn't a single dealer in the whole state of Mississippi that carries this feed. Oh well, never mind, right? Wrong! Giving up just isn't our style. We have now become the only Total Equine dealer in the state of MS! However, since I didn't wish to purchase and unload four pallets of horse feed, I decided that a few bags to start us off might be a good idea. So I had to drive to the feed mill to get it...in Demopolis, Alabama.
I have to confess that a small part of me enjoyed six hours in the car alone. I got to listen to any radio station I wanted, I kept the temperature where I wanted it, and even got to have a few adult phone conversations without someone yelling, "Mom! Mom! Mom! Who is that? Why are you talking to her?" But it was a long way over there and back. Fortunately, there were a few highlights along the way. I saw an older gentleman who just couldn't wait the approximately 50 yards to the nearest gas station to relieve himself. Yep, didn't even walk over to the edge of the forest, just pulled over, stepped in front of his Lincoln and let 'er go. Nice.
By far the most interesting thing I saw on my trip was a guy in Livingston, Alabama. He was working the front door of the Burger King I stopped at. I have to say that he gets the prize for the strangest hitchhiker I've ever seen. This dude was dressed in a full monk's habit, complete with a rosary and a Bible. Oh, and a NASCAR cap. I'm fairly certain he saw me trip over the curb while I was taking all this in. I mean, I'm no religious scholar, but I'm pretty freaking sure those two things don't go together. He obviously hadn't taken a vow of silence, since he asked me for a ride. Is it rude to look at someone in a monk's habit and say, "You have serial killer written all over you, Buddy?" I guess it probably is, but I wasn't taking any chances. I was more than a little happy that he was gone when I came out of the bathroom.
Just to top off my trip with a bit of irony, I listened to the Dave Ramsey radio show while I was driving. I wonder what he'd say about a six hour round trip to buy horse feed? Probably nothing nice. Anyway, hopefully Chubby will slim down on his new cushy diet. If it works for him, I'm gonna start eating it, too.