Late Night Comedy Club

I have shared before (and I am sure that he's oh-so-grateful) the fact that my husband does his best comedic work in the middle of the night. A couple of days ago, it happened again. At approximately 4:30 AM, he wrote what I'm pretty sure could qualify as a Saturday Night Live skit.
Allow me to set the scene for you. Two utterly exhausted parents lay sleeping in their bed, trying desperately to make use of each and every peaceful second of slumber. Suddenly, at approximately 4 AM, the mother is snatched from her blissful state of REM sleep by the sound of a wailing child. Snapping to attention and wiping her eyes, she hears those dreadful words, "Mommy, I wet my bed!"
Naturally, the first word that went through my mind was not "pee pee" although it did involve a bodily function. Fortunately, it didn't come out of my mouth. I stumbled to the laundry room in search of clean sheets, underwear, and pajamas. My daughter headed to the bathroom, ostensibly to finish what she started in her bed.
By the time I got upstairs, my husband was standing there running his hand over her sheets. After the third time, he looked at me and announced, "If she wet this bed, I can't find it!" After I came to the same conclusion, I shoved the clean sheets in a drawer and headed back downstairs. My child's nightgown wasn't wet either, and we finally came to the conclusion that I "wet the bed" meant there were three drops of pee in her underwear. Apparently she started to go and woke herself up. Thank goodness for small favors.
One clean pair of underwear later, she was tucked back into her bed and I was halfway back to dreamland when Mr. Comedy started his routine. Judging by how wide awake he was, he obviously has not mastered the skill that most mothers are very familiar with...the ability to handle almost any situation while remaining at least partially asleep. So there we were, trying desperately to get that last hour of sleep that we needed so badly, when my husband's sense of humor kicked in.
In his best infomercial voice, he suddenly said, "Introducing the NO PEE, an industrial strength diaper for older kids! Got a kid who wets the bed? Not anymore! Just get them a NO PEE and sleep blissfully through the night! Just ask little Sally!"
In his best little Sally voice, "I wet my pants NINE times last night, but thanks to the NO PEE my sheets stayed nice and dry!"
Back to infomercial announcer voice: "The NO PEE comes in fashion colors, so your kids can be totally discreet. And this just in...announcing the BEER PEE for dads! Now your dad doesn't even have to leave the couch on those long football Saturdays! Available in your favorite teams and colors! Wear it under your Snuggie and be totally discreet! Order in the next 30 minutes and receive your FREE gift!"
I don't know if that conversation is as funny on paper as it was in person, but instead of sleeping I once again found myself laughing so hard I was gasping for air. There might have even been a snort in there. At 4:30 AM I laughed to the point I was wishing I had a NO PEE. Just another day in the life of being married to this guy.
And now I have to go. I was pondering what the sound was that was coming from my kitchen. It sounded suspiciously like some sort of demolition. My two year old daughter has arrived with her keyboard and the electric screwdriver  to inform me that the batteries are dead. I'm going to go out on a limb and say we are out of AA batteries. Oh, darn! ;)