Mother's Day Lessons

As usual, there are a million things rolling around in my mind that I want to get down on paper. I'm pretty sure most of them will never make it out of my brain, and a lot of them probably shouldn't. However, since yesterday was Mother's Day, I felt like I had to slow down long enough to jot something down. Mother's Day is always a difficult day for me, as I am sure it is for lots of people. Those who have lost mothers, children, and the children of moms who aren't so great don't have a lot to celebrate.
Seems like I always miss my mom just a little more at this time of year. And, yes, I am so very grateful to have been blessed with my three beautiful girls. They make me happy each and every day (at least once.) They also drive me completely crazy, but I suppose it's a short trip. I'm pretty sure they think that I get up and let the sun out every morning, which to be perfectly honest, is a tremendous amount of pressure. I really try to be the person they think I am each and every day, and at the end of the day I generally feel like I have fallen short.
Last night, however, I got to teach a "parenting" lesson that I'm fairly certain I never daydreamed about while lying around like a beached whale on bedrest during my pregnancies. I got to explain what a "wedgie" is! Be jealous, ladies, be jealous.
I have to admit that I'm not really sure how the subject came up, (I think it had something to do with Spongebob) but suddenly there was a short person behind me touching me in an extremely personal area. And then the following chain of events took place.
With a completely straight face, I yelled, "Girls! I am not sure if you understand what wedgie means! Giving someone a wedgie does NOT mean sticking your finger up their butt!" My husband immediately began to laugh. I feel the need to point out that it wasn't a giggle, but one of those laughing so hard no sound is coming out laughs. His eyes began to water, and the next thing I saw was him lie down on the kitchen floor. Keep in mind that there was still no sound coming out. After a few moments I began to wonder if he was having a heart attack.
The kids and I all rushed into the kitchen, at which point he grabbed my daughter and administered a properly executed wedgie. She screamed, she laughed, and then suddenly looked thoughtful. After along pause she said seriously, "I'm not sure if I'm going to kiss you goodnight tonight." She proceeded to remove her underwear from her backside and then yelled, "But I am going to touch you with my wedgie hand!"
The most awesome monkeypile ever ensued, right there on the kitchen floor. And I was able to laugh on Mother's Day, which was the real gift. Thanks, guys!