Today I want to dispel a myth or two. The other day a friend I haven't seen in quite some time was over at our house. With no kids of her own, she has recently become the stepmother of two precious children. As she was getting ready to leave, she shared with me that she has learned to cook, clean, and all the other tasks that go along with being a mom. And then she said something that blew me away. She actually looked at me and said, "I mean, I'm not like you. You're like, the perfect mom. You're still my go-to mom when I don't know how to do something." Now what do you say to something like that? The smart ass in me was thinking, "Boy, I've sure got you fooled! I must be a really great actress!"
So here's what I would like to say: If I, in the writing of this blog, have ever implied in any way, shape, or form that I am the "perfect" anything, please accept my most sincere apologies. Anything of the sort was completely coincidental and totally unintentional! This project was in no way meant to paint a rosy picture of the perfect family. It was actually quite the opposite. After many years, I finally learned to laugh at myself. To stop trying so hard to be perfect. To admit that I was not Superwoman; that there is a certain amount of things that I can accomplish in one day, and those that don't get done will still be there tomorrow. And that, regardless of what reality TV producers would have you think, there are no perfect families.
My goal in writing this was to record my thoughts and feelings for my kids to have (much) later on, and to maybe give someone a good giggle over something that happened to us. I was not a perfect person before I was a mother, and I certainly have not become one since I gave birth. I did not have a "natural" childbirth. I brought my babies into the world in a hospital, while I was heavily medicated. I did not save, bury, or do anything else weird with my placenta. I did not breastfeed my kids until they were four or practice attachment parenting. I used disposable diapers and store bought baby food.
I am not Betty Crocker. I am not Martha Stewart. I am not the Mother of the Year. I forget to send lunches to school. I let my child spend an entire night with no underwear under her pajamas. (In my defense, she is six years old, and she does know which one and have access to the drawer where the underwear lives. When I asked, "Have you brushed your teeth?" before bed, it never occurred to me to add, "And are you wearing panties?") I forget to brush the baby's teeth from time to time. I let my children wear clothes that have a stain on them. I prepare meals that aren't necessarily "healthy" and allow my kids to eat sugary cereals. I have never completed a Pinterest project. I forget the words to lullabies and sometimes fake a sore throat to keep from singing. I lose my temper and my mind from time to time.
Whew! Nowhere in that description does the word "perfect" come to mind. I would love to say that I put my heart, soul, and every ounce of energy I can muster into being a great mother every single day. That would be what is known as a lie. I do the best I can, most of the time. And sometimes I totally suck at being a mom and freely admit it.
I especially love it when celebrities write about parenting, no doubt while their babies are being cared for by the nanny, and try to convince me that they're a mom, "just like" me. Sorry, Jenny McCarthy. I loved your books, but the only thing that you and I have in common is that we are female and gave birth to another human being. And Beyonce is just like the rest of us...if you don't count the personal trainer, full time chef, full time nanny, and zillions of dollars. She can afford to spend her time working on her figure.
I've said all this to say: Moms, please don't compare yourself to anyone else, most especially me. You are the parent that God hand selected for your child. Keep in mind that lots of kids think their mom is perfect, just because she's theirs. I know I did. It's a lot of pressure, this whole being responsible for someone else thingy. But it's worth it. Imperfections and all.
Sunday, January 6, 2013
Saturday, January 5, 2013
Are you a COW?
The Christmas season is always full of church events for us, and this year was no different. Sheridan was in her very first play this year, complete with costume change, and God bless Mrs. Linda for taking on such a thing. I have learned to relax, somewhat, when my older kids participate in something like this (or maybe it was my migraine medicine that was helping) but having the little one on stage in front of people from three churches was something new. Her first appearance was as a star in "Twinkle, twinkle little star" and since she was able to follow her sisters on stage and twirl around, I wasn't too worried about that one. How 14 twirling girls in puffy skirts managed to get through that number without having anyone go toppling down the stairs was truly divine intervention.
The main challenge for me was keeping my three little cherubs quiet backstage. They converse in a stage whisper pretty much 24/7, so explaining to them that sound travels and the people out front could hear them was about as productive as nailing Jell-o to a tree. Finally in desperation I handed Sheridan a snack cup, the theory being that if her mouth was full at least she wouldn't be able to talk. (Yeah, right!) Naturally, I got caught up in helping the other two change their costumes and promptly forgot all about the snack cup...until my little sheep hit the stage with it still in her hand. I'm pretty sure this was the only nativity scene in history that involved a sheep holding purple Gerber snack cup. As I was crossing my fingers that no one had seen it and perhaps she wouldn't draw any extra attention to herself, she looked up at the older child next to her and exclaimed loudly, "Are you a COW?" Oh, well, so much for going incognito. The audience loved it, and as far as I know nobody running the program was one of those OCD, it-must-be-perfect or the holiday season will be ruined type people. And if they were, all I can say is you knew she was two years old when you gave her the part!
We also attended (much to the chagrin of my husband and kids) our church's annual Christmas cantata. I love church Christmas music, and I wanted my kids to hear it, too. So on a particularly rainy, cold, and dreary Sunday, we headed to our sister church. We made it just in time to get a seat - on the second row. My husband is a back row Methodist in the truest sense of the word, so for me to not only make him go to the cantata but also sit at the front was a double whammy. Add to that the fact that every single time the choir would finish a song, right in those two seconds before the man with the speaking part would start narrating, my baby would announce loudly, "Now we can go home!" So much for sneaking in and sitting quietly on the back row.
I suppose my biggest blunder of the holiday season this year (other than not being able to find the stocking stuffers I bought - see a previous post about that) happened on our annual trip to Jackson. As everyone was distributing their gifts, I was hit with the awful realization that I had left my cousins' daughters' gifts at home. The sad part was, I had purchased them nearly a month in advance at a swanky store in Tupelo, had them wrapped professionally, and hid them in my closet. Right when everyone started opening presents I remembered them...and the fact that they were still sitting in my closet. To use one of my husband's expressions, I think I said something along the lines of, "Son of a motherless goat." Then I started apologizing profusely and trying to explain to the two teenagers in the room how my mommy brain had wreaked havoc on me again. They did not look impressed, but were gracious just the same.
But the best part of all came when my cousin looked up and said, "You aren't going to believe this. I forgot your present, too!" Ah, yes, vindication! I can't tell you how relieved I was. And with that, I must say, it just doesn't take much to make me happy these days.
The main challenge for me was keeping my three little cherubs quiet backstage. They converse in a stage whisper pretty much 24/7, so explaining to them that sound travels and the people out front could hear them was about as productive as nailing Jell-o to a tree. Finally in desperation I handed Sheridan a snack cup, the theory being that if her mouth was full at least she wouldn't be able to talk. (Yeah, right!) Naturally, I got caught up in helping the other two change their costumes and promptly forgot all about the snack cup...until my little sheep hit the stage with it still in her hand. I'm pretty sure this was the only nativity scene in history that involved a sheep holding purple Gerber snack cup. As I was crossing my fingers that no one had seen it and perhaps she wouldn't draw any extra attention to herself, she looked up at the older child next to her and exclaimed loudly, "Are you a COW?" Oh, well, so much for going incognito. The audience loved it, and as far as I know nobody running the program was one of those OCD, it-must-be-perfect or the holiday season will be ruined type people. And if they were, all I can say is you knew she was two years old when you gave her the part!
We also attended (much to the chagrin of my husband and kids) our church's annual Christmas cantata. I love church Christmas music, and I wanted my kids to hear it, too. So on a particularly rainy, cold, and dreary Sunday, we headed to our sister church. We made it just in time to get a seat - on the second row. My husband is a back row Methodist in the truest sense of the word, so for me to not only make him go to the cantata but also sit at the front was a double whammy. Add to that the fact that every single time the choir would finish a song, right in those two seconds before the man with the speaking part would start narrating, my baby would announce loudly, "Now we can go home!" So much for sneaking in and sitting quietly on the back row.
I suppose my biggest blunder of the holiday season this year (other than not being able to find the stocking stuffers I bought - see a previous post about that) happened on our annual trip to Jackson. As everyone was distributing their gifts, I was hit with the awful realization that I had left my cousins' daughters' gifts at home. The sad part was, I had purchased them nearly a month in advance at a swanky store in Tupelo, had them wrapped professionally, and hid them in my closet. Right when everyone started opening presents I remembered them...and the fact that they were still sitting in my closet. To use one of my husband's expressions, I think I said something along the lines of, "Son of a motherless goat." Then I started apologizing profusely and trying to explain to the two teenagers in the room how my mommy brain had wreaked havoc on me again. They did not look impressed, but were gracious just the same.
But the best part of all came when my cousin looked up and said, "You aren't going to believe this. I forgot your present, too!" Ah, yes, vindication! I can't tell you how relieved I was. And with that, I must say, it just doesn't take much to make me happy these days.
Friday, January 4, 2013
Can we get to 200?
First of all, I want to say "thank you" to each and every person who has enjoyed my blog. I especially want to thank those of you who have seen something that you liked and shared it with your friends. I am really trying to achieve a personal goal today. I think it would be a great way to kick off 2013. The most people who have ever read my blog in a single day is 180. Today I am at 139. I would absolutely love to make it to 200 for the first time ever! So if you have read something you enjoy, please feel free to share it with your friends. I would really appreciate it!
Superdog, aka Zoey
People used to ask me about my kids. Now it seems that they ask about my English bulldog more often. Yes, we still have Zoey, the bulldog my husband rescued from the euthanasia room at the shelter where he works. The rest of the story is this - he had been medicating her eye for several days, thinking that because she was a purebred dog surely she wouldn't be pulled for euthanasia. Then one day he walked in to do the very worst part of his job at the shelter and there she was. When she saw him, she jumped up and headed to the front of her cage wagging her butt (she doesn't really have a tail) so excited to see someone she knew. I couldn't have put her down, either, and if you think you could have, you aren't nearly as softhearted as we are. So now she lives with us.
I am happy to report that she has gained a significant amount of weight, although she's still skinnier than I'd like. We estimated that she weighed about half what she should have when she got here. Her eye is completely well. She still needs a dental cleaning and to be spayed, so we are having those things done after she gains a little more weight.
I truly believe she may be the worst smelling dog on the planet. Yesterday my daughter came in my bathroom and said, "Mom, I smelled Zoey coming down the stairs. It smells like she threw up or something."
"Oh, really? Well, is she still in her bed?'
"I dunno."
"Well, go look!"
She disappeared for a few seconds and then came back. "Yep, she's still in her bed. And she's snoring. I've never seen a dog that could snore!"
"Yes, and she stinks. She can stink and snore at the same time. She's very talented."
She thought for a moment and then said, "Wow! Stinking and snoring at the same time? It's amazing, is what it is."
Zoey has total dragon breath, and her body isn't much better. (And yes, we have given her several baths. They just don't last very long.) Last night at dinner we were discussing how horrible she smells. My husband seems fairly shocked by all the complaints about her aroma. This is the point where I share with you that he has the worst sinus trouble on the planet. He can't smell crap. Literally. Which I suppose is what makes him able to both do the job that he does and enjoy my cooking so much. I truly have my doubts that he has ever actually tasted anything that I prepared. But that is a story for another day.
As we were discussing how bad Zoey smells, he responded with the familiar, "Well, why don't y'all give her a bath?" My daughter looked at him, and in all seriousness said, "Daddy, we have delicate flower hands. We can't give a dog a bath!"
Ah, yes, my little delicate flowers. Just makes a mama proud. Sheesh.
I am happy to report that she has gained a significant amount of weight, although she's still skinnier than I'd like. We estimated that she weighed about half what she should have when she got here. Her eye is completely well. She still needs a dental cleaning and to be spayed, so we are having those things done after she gains a little more weight.
I truly believe she may be the worst smelling dog on the planet. Yesterday my daughter came in my bathroom and said, "Mom, I smelled Zoey coming down the stairs. It smells like she threw up or something."
"Oh, really? Well, is she still in her bed?'
"I dunno."
"Well, go look!"
She disappeared for a few seconds and then came back. "Yep, she's still in her bed. And she's snoring. I've never seen a dog that could snore!"
"Yes, and she stinks. She can stink and snore at the same time. She's very talented."
She thought for a moment and then said, "Wow! Stinking and snoring at the same time? It's amazing, is what it is."
Zoey has total dragon breath, and her body isn't much better. (And yes, we have given her several baths. They just don't last very long.) Last night at dinner we were discussing how horrible she smells. My husband seems fairly shocked by all the complaints about her aroma. This is the point where I share with you that he has the worst sinus trouble on the planet. He can't smell crap. Literally. Which I suppose is what makes him able to both do the job that he does and enjoy my cooking so much. I truly have my doubts that he has ever actually tasted anything that I prepared. But that is a story for another day.
As we were discussing how bad Zoey smells, he responded with the familiar, "Well, why don't y'all give her a bath?" My daughter looked at him, and in all seriousness said, "Daddy, we have delicate flower hands. We can't give a dog a bath!"
Ah, yes, my little delicate flowers. Just makes a mama proud. Sheesh.
Thursday, January 3, 2013
New stuff on the way!
Just wanted to let everyone know that new material is on the way! I have so much to write about it's not funny. My kids are headed back to school tomorrow, so hopefully I can catch up on some of the craziness that has been going on around here. I have Zoey stories, Christmas play stories, AFV updates, and so much more! We are headed back to California later this month, so I will be asking for everyone's positive thoughts. We sure want to hear Tom Bergeron say our names again!
Wednesday, January 2, 2013
Hello to my friends around the world!
Just wanted to say a quick "hello" to all of you who are enjoying my blog in China! I see that you guys are often reading while I am sleeping. Just wanted to let you know that I appreciate you very much. I think that motherhood is the universal language. Hope you are enjoying these stories as much as I enjoy writing them.
And just for fun...there's nothing like having your child offer a guest in your home a Christmas cookie that was given to you as a gift, then turn and leave the room with, "We got these a really LONG time ago!" Just makes a mother proud. Can I crawl under the rug now? Sigh.
And just for fun...there's nothing like having your child offer a guest in your home a Christmas cookie that was given to you as a gift, then turn and leave the room with, "We got these a really LONG time ago!" Just makes a mother proud. Can I crawl under the rug now? Sigh.
Tuesday, January 1, 2013
So Long, 2012!
2012 has come to a close. Fortunately for all of us, the world didn't come to an end. I must say that, having survived several other apocalypses in my lifetime, one when I was in eighth grade and countless others since then, this one was the biggest letdown. Thanks to social media and at least a dozen History Channel documentaries about the all-knowing Mayans and their calendar, there was a good deal of speculation about whether this one was THE one. I once had a music minister absolutely terrify me and a group of kids at church by telling us all about how, according to him (in his infinite knowledge) the end of the world was coming, and SOON. My husband had a similar experience with a televangelist when he was a kid. I thought it was pretty neat that our mothers both shared the same Bible verse with us for comfort, the one that says not even Jesus knows when the end of days is coming.
It seems like everyone is looking ahead, talking about what they didn't do in 2012, and making resolutions about what they are going to do in 2013. Looking back on it, 2012 was a phenomenal year for our family. We took a free trip to California, made an appearance on national television, and even won $10,000! Kirk and I launched our equine spa and rehabilitation business, which has naturally had its share of challenges but seems to be rolling now. Perhaps I am one step closer to my childhood dream that led me to vet school, working with horses. We also announced our affiliation with a product called QuickDerm, which I hope everyone will be hearing a lot more about in the future.
Equally as exciting for me was the launch of this blog and the upcoming publication of my first book. When my personal blog began getting a lot of hits from a Russian website last year, I was very shocked and disappointed to learn that it was a pornography site. I felt like I had no other choice but to make my blog private, for the safety of my children. Ironically, it was just such a thing that caused me to hesitate when someone suggested that I start a blog to begin with. However, as always seems to be the case, there was a bigger plan in place for me. After the blog was no longer public, I truly missed sharing the craziness that is our family and interacting with the people who read it. So I started this one, and it has become a source of great joy for me. I can only hope that those of you who read it enjoy it as much as I do.
I am thrilled to say that my book is steadily marching toward publication in the next few months. The editing is done, and I am now waiting on the people working on the cover to finish their part of the production. One of my earliest childhood aspirations, even earlier than my desire to be a veterinarian, was my dream of becoming an author. I started out wanting to write fiction, but discovered that it was not what I was good at. I have been advised many times to write about what I "know." So that's what I decided to do. The most important thing I have learned to do recently is laugh at myself. I wrote my first book hoping that someone out there will realize they are not alone, that someone else has been through the very same things they are experiencing and lived to tell the tale. And if they get a good giggle out of it as well, then so much the better!
I sincerely appreciate each and every one of you who has taken time to read my posts this year. I love hearing your thoughts as well. I can't wait to see what 2013 has in store for our family!
It seems like everyone is looking ahead, talking about what they didn't do in 2012, and making resolutions about what they are going to do in 2013. Looking back on it, 2012 was a phenomenal year for our family. We took a free trip to California, made an appearance on national television, and even won $10,000! Kirk and I launched our equine spa and rehabilitation business, which has naturally had its share of challenges but seems to be rolling now. Perhaps I am one step closer to my childhood dream that led me to vet school, working with horses. We also announced our affiliation with a product called QuickDerm, which I hope everyone will be hearing a lot more about in the future.
Equally as exciting for me was the launch of this blog and the upcoming publication of my first book. When my personal blog began getting a lot of hits from a Russian website last year, I was very shocked and disappointed to learn that it was a pornography site. I felt like I had no other choice but to make my blog private, for the safety of my children. Ironically, it was just such a thing that caused me to hesitate when someone suggested that I start a blog to begin with. However, as always seems to be the case, there was a bigger plan in place for me. After the blog was no longer public, I truly missed sharing the craziness that is our family and interacting with the people who read it. So I started this one, and it has become a source of great joy for me. I can only hope that those of you who read it enjoy it as much as I do.
I am thrilled to say that my book is steadily marching toward publication in the next few months. The editing is done, and I am now waiting on the people working on the cover to finish their part of the production. One of my earliest childhood aspirations, even earlier than my desire to be a veterinarian, was my dream of becoming an author. I started out wanting to write fiction, but discovered that it was not what I was good at. I have been advised many times to write about what I "know." So that's what I decided to do. The most important thing I have learned to do recently is laugh at myself. I wrote my first book hoping that someone out there will realize they are not alone, that someone else has been through the very same things they are experiencing and lived to tell the tale. And if they get a good giggle out of it as well, then so much the better!
I sincerely appreciate each and every one of you who has taken time to read my posts this year. I love hearing your thoughts as well. I can't wait to see what 2013 has in store for our family!
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