5k Courtney

If you thought you heard the sound of someone panting like a dying pony this morning, it was me. I ran my first 5k (on my treadmill) in a reallllly long time. I am excited to say that I did not vomit or pass out. I also completely understand why those of you who marathon can run a 5k like it's nothing. When I consider that I didn't even run a third of a marathon this morning, I am even more in awe of the crazy people who actually run that far.
Let's make something clear. I didn't "run" a 5k, more like joggged. Or "wogged" as I like to call it. That means I jog as long as I can without falling over and then walk until I think I can jog some more. Sometimes I get really psycho and actually run part of the way, but I always regret it when I find myself gasping for air and thinking, "Surely I've been farther than that!"
Lest you read this and conjured up an image of some skinny person with bulging muscles, let me assure you that I am not. I am the halfway-done Biggest Loser contestant, who stands on the scale, marvels at how much weight they've lost, and in their mind hears the people at home saying, "Dang, she's STILL fat!" I say that with a smile, because I'm only half kidding. When I think about the effort I've put in, I should weigh approximately 98 pounds. When my scale thinks about the effort I've actually put in, it refuses to admit that I've lost an ounce. Piece of junk. It was probably assembled out of spare parts by a child in Bangladesh. I'm just sure that's it!
Either way, this morning's effort was purely the result of peer pressure. My husband heard me mention a benefit 5k for a high school friend and has begun to needle me mercilessly about how I should go do it because I "can." So this morning I proved to myself that I am physically capable of traveling that far. Whether I'm willing to do it in person is a horse of a different color.

Good news!

I am extremely excited to report that my checkup/mammogram yesterday was all clear. Now I can worry about one less thing until I'm 40. Ha! Also, I got word from the publisher today that my book is finished! Now I wait the 7 to 10 days for shipping. I am so ready for it to get here! I will check it out and make sure there are no glaring mistakes, then it will be available here and from me directly, as well as Amazon.com. I will let everyone know when I have it. Lots to be thankful for this week!

The Doctor's Office

Blogging from the road today! Thank goodness for my iPad. I might not ever get anything done. Yesterday I kicked my own butt on the treadmill to the point that I had to blog from my recliner while lying down. I do have to say that it's pretty hard to finish a post when you keep falling asleep! But it's all going to be worth it when my clothes fit again and my horses stop giving me that "Hey, lardass, would you lose a few if you're going to be sitting on my back every day" look when I start to get on. Nobody likes that look.
I spent my morning in the doctor's office having a mammogram. Not very high on the list of things I enjoy, and not a fun place to hang out, either. Sitting in the waiting room people watching, it was easy to pick out who was already sick (those who came in carrying thick folders of medical records and xrays) and those who were people like me, rolling along feeling bulletproof in their day to day life and wondering if the result of this test would change everything. To make matters worse, all of the employees and nurses are extra cheerful. I suppose they have to be to deal with the sick and the about-to-find-out-they're-sick on a daily basis. I also find it unnerving to be in a place with a box of Kleenex in every single waiting area. Reminds me of a funeral home.
I couldn't help but think of my friend Beth while I was there. Breast cancer took her life in September, and I kept wondering if her journey started in the same spot I was sitting in. Was my life about to take the same turn that hers had? I certainly hope not. I spent my time waiting thanking God for my health and for a good report. Fine, I admit it. I believe in the power of positive thinking and all that crap! I'm not meditating daily or doing yoga yet, but it can't be far behind.
As a person who lost her mother to cancer when both she and I were young, it would be very easy for me to go through life waiting for the other shoe to drop. I could spend hours and hours worrying about getting sick, leaving my husband and kids, all sorts of unpleasant things. But I choose to focus on the wonderful things that have already happened to me and those that are on the horizon. I believe that I am happy, healthy, and full of potential, and I will until further notice.

The Bathroom Expert

Today I'm going to share my expertise in one of the most disgusting places in the world. People only go there because they have to, and many people avoid them at all costs. Children love them, and feel compelled to touch each and every surface in them. They are...public bathrooms.
How does one become an expert on public bathrooms? I'm glad you asked. Allow me to explain. My cousin assures me that every single time I went anywhere with her family when I was a kid they had to find me a bathroom. My husband on more than one occasion has called me the "bathroomingest woman" he's ever seen, and no, I wasn't pregnant at the time. Having been blessed with what he lovingly refers to as my "microbladder" I find myself in search of a restroom fairly often. Add three kids who always have to go (they never have to go when we leave home) and I know precisely where nearly every public restroom in Tupelo, Mooreville, and Mantachie is located.
Public restrooms are not all bad. I've visited nearly every one in North Mississippi. You can learn a lot. For instance, a gentleman named Phil has a very large, ahem, member. And for a good time you should call a young lady named Mary. Sally is a man-stealing homewrecker, Chris is a homosexual, and John should really try some Viagra. Oh, and Shelly passed through Tupelo on her spring break trip to Panama Beach. So much vital information can be gleaned from bathroom wall graffiti! Now that my kids can read, checking out a stall before they go in has taken on a whole new meaning.
Public restrooms are not always well thought out. Early on, I figured out that a double stroller will only fit in a handicapped stall. Bathrooms with one of those were a plus! These days, I still look for the big stall, since I generally have a herd of small children with me. Not too long ago, I led the parade into the big stall and saw something I've never seen before! (I know, I was as surprised as you are.) The toilet paper holder was on the opposite wall from the toilet. Keep in mind that this was a HANDICAPPED stall. How the heck is a disabled person supposed to reach the toilet paper when I can't do it? Shouldn't that be against some sort of law? You know, all disabled people have the right to freely accessible toilet paper in handicapped stalls? Sheesh. And no, my mental problem does not count as a disability. Ha, ha. Toilet paper location never mattered to me until I had kids. It really presents a problem when they've locked the door, done their business, and suddenly realize that their arms are too short to reach the toilet paper. True story.
Being a public restroom expert, I was caught off guard yet again the other day at Kroger. We ran in to  pick up just a few things and of course, the kids had to pee. Having been there, done that, I knew right where the restroom was. One child headed into the small stall, closed the door, sat down, and WHACK! Wailing commenced, and all sorts of things began to run through my mind. What on Earth? Had she fallen in the toilet? Pulled the toilet paper dispenser off the wall? Nope! Even better! When my daughter reached for the toilet paper, the unlocked dispenser swung open and hit her hard, right across the bridge of her nose. Never a dull moment around here!

Back on Track

Hopefully I will be back on track tomorrow! Today was really busy, and I spent my afternoon at the hospital with my sweet mother-in-law who was having an endoscopy done and couldn't drive herself home. Although, like every other day, I had a million things I needed to be doing, I know that I was right where I was supposed to be. I am happy to say that the doctor did not find anything that he thought was a malignancy. Apparently she has some sort of cyst on her pancreas that he does not feel will cause her any problems for the rest of her days! So now we can all stop worrying.
I have so many new things to blog about, I wonder if I will ever get caught up. For now, I will leave you with this: Jeff Foxworthy says that, "If your checks feature pictures of dogs fighting, you might be a redneck." So here's my take on that. If your checks feature pictures of your children fighting, what does that make you?

Disneyland

So here it is...my totally unsolicited, uncompensated, shameless plug for Disneyland. When we discovered that we would be filming AFV in Manhattan Beach, CA, we also figured out that Disneyland was about 30 minutes away. My kids have been begging to go to Disney for years, and my excuse up to this point has been one of two things: I'm not riding in a car with three little kids for that long or I'm not getting on a plane with three little kids for that long. Now that we have been "forced" to face our fears (AFV prize money is a great incentive) and made multiple cross-country flights with my kids, I wasn't about to be 30 minutes away and not take them to Disneyland. So we did a little online research and planned our trip.
Having never really planned a trip like this one, we decided our best bet was to stay at a hotel in the park. I looked at the three choices and picked the one that looked like the most fun for us - the Disneyland Hotel. I have to say that was one of the best selections we made! I can honestly say that I've never stayed anywhere more fun. The girls had a fantastic time searching for "hidden" Mickey Mouse faces in the room's decor. The bathroom lights were held in place by two large white Mickey Mouse hands, but by far the most amazing part of our room was the headbord that took up one enitre wall. It was a beautiful cutout castle scene with fireworks that lit up and made a perfect nightlight. It also played "A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes" at the touch of a button.
There was a TV channel that had nothing but Princess bedtime stories on every night. One night when we returned from the park, we found Sharlee's blue teddy bear tucked in on top of the bed by the housekeeping staff. It was truly, truly a magical place to stay, and well worth the money.
Within walking distance of the hotel was a shopping ditrict called "Downtown Disney." It had tons of stores, everything from Lego to Build a Bear and more. Our first night there we ate a Rainforest Cafe, which none of us had ever done. Everyone loved it except the baby, who was not a fan of the moving animals or the fake thunderstorms.
   Walt Disney called his theme park the "happiest place on Earth" and I have to agree with him on that one. It's been a long time since I could say that I was completely happy from the moment I opened my eyes until the moment I closed them. Our time at the park was everything I hoped it would be and more. There was a moment, riding the Tomorrowland Rockets with my baby, that I had to just close my eyes and breathe. Flying high above the park on a beautiful California afternoon, I was as blissfully happy as I have ever been in my life. I kept reminding myself that this was one of those days I would remember for the rest of my life. We are totally sold on the whole Disney experience. The park was clean, the food was delicious, and the lines were short. Oh, and people totally walked off and left their empty strollers unattended. Gift shop bags, diaper bags, cameras...it didn't matter. They left it all right there with their strollers while they went off to ride with their kids! Completely blew our minds, but in a few hours we were doing it too. I am happy to say that nothing was stolen! All in all, we had the trip of a lifetime, even before we got to the AFV taping. Life is good and we are grateful!

This is a test!

Why is it that every time I make a decision something immediately happens to test my resolve? After the most recent of many conversations about my barrel horses, my husband/coach and I decided that I needed to call in reinforcements. However, we also decided that before I hired someone to help me with my horse, he'd better be in shape. I can't see me learning a whole lot if my noble steed is panting like a dying pony after 15 minutes of exercise. So we made a commitment, with a spit shake and pinky swear that I would ride him every day for a month before calling in outside help.

Naturally, no sooner had we made the decision and said it out loud, the temperature began to drop. Today was day 3, and I can't tell you how much "want to" it took to go outside where it was sleeting and cold and work two horses instead of lying on the couch in front of a fire. I guess I'm just a crackhead. All it takes is that little tiny voice in the back of my mind to whisper, "One day it will all be worth it" and I'm out the door.

I have to say that I'm really glad I did go ride, however. Both of my horses did great. Naturally, one of my young horses made the best run he's ever made, since we were alone and no one was there to see it. Doesn't it always happen that way? After I was done riding, and was waiting on my husband to bring the feed something really cool happened. I have to admit that although my hands and ears were cold, I had some really peaceful moments sitting there on my horse listening to the sleet fall on top of the arena. It was dark, it was quiet, and I was alone with my horses. Color this girl happy, happy, happy.

Today we are off to the barrel race in the snow for the second time this year. Stupid, lying groundhog! This is not an early spring. This is 70 degrees one day and 25 the next. I can't believe we aren't all on death's doorstep with the sinus issues in our family. I am ready for some sunshine, and I promise not to complain about the heat this summer. Okay, not very much.

PS - It's also worth noting that we are hauling a trailer today that lacks a dressing room door. We traded for a four horse trailer, and the door had been pinned back by the previous owner, caught be the wind, and bent all to heck. When my husband tried to fix it, naturally it fell apart. Apparently there isn't much call for replacement dressing room doors, so we haven't had any luck finding one close by or readily available. There was a time in my life when I wouldn't be caught dead in a rig missing a trailer door. As it is now, I'm thankful for a husband that will help me get to the barrel race, horses to ride, and something to go in, even if I do imagine that I hear the theme from "Sanford and Son" every once in awhile. Plus, in light of recent events in my life, it's really, really hard for us to have a bad day!