The Freak Factor

When I became a mom, I also became a MOM (mother of multiples.) If you are going to have multiples, there is something to be said for having them first. So here it is: we were too stupid to be scared. We had no idea how much work one baby is, so the idea of having two wasn't all that frightening. It was really fun to watch our friends become parents of one child. Then the enormity of what we were going through began to dawn on them. Each of them would come to us and say, "I don't know how you do it." To which I say, "What were we going to do, send one back?"
I saw the most adorable set of onesies the other day. One said, "I was planned." The other said, "I was a surprise." Truer words were never spoken. If I had seen these when my girls were babies, we definitely would have owned a set. Actually, the word "surprise" doesn't begin to cover what I was feeling when the overly cheerful ultrasound technician pointed out those two little blobs. Two? Two what? "Two babies! See, one, two!" I began to bawl, and I confess that it wasn't out of pure joy in that particular moment. Add the ultrasound to the fact that my normally cheerful doctor was suddenly very serious and using words like "high-risk pregnancy" and "almost certainly a premature delivery," and I was just plain scared.
Veterinarians have a knack for having twins. Maybe it's because we think we're supposed to have a litter! I mean, that's what our patients do, right? But really, I know way too many vets with twins or higher order multiples. I'm sure there's probably some boring scientific reason that has something to do with older mothers who've been on birth control for years stopping suddenly and having a double ovulation, but I prefer the litter theory. And I hate the term "older" mothers. This year I officially reached "advanced maternal age." I realize it's just a scientific classification based on statistics and such, but still. You're calling me old and I'm supposed to like it? Not likely.
Once I told a friend who was a twin that I was expecting twins. She looked at me somberly and said, "I wouldn't wish twins on my worst enemy. I remember what we put my mother through." She never cracked a smile. At the time, I was offended. Now I am beginning to understand what she meant by that!
They should issue all new moms a pamphlet at the ultrasound visit when you find out you're having more than one child. They could call it "The Freak Factor." This is the part of having twins that will cause you to begin to feel like a sideshow attraction any time you take your children out in public.Now ladies, I realize that the freak factor associated with twins is nothing compared to triplets and higher order multiples, but it does exist for twins.
It started with my pregnancy. I was the same size as a full term pregnant woman at 32 weeks, a full month before my babies were born. A lady asked me in a gas station one day how much longer I had. When I replied, "About a month, I hope," her eyes got big and she said, "Oh, I don't think so." Well, gee, since you don't appear to be a doctor, and certainly aren't my doctor, how about a big fat, "Mind your own business!" That's what my hormones wanted to say. Add her to the touchy-feelies and it was enough to drive me crazy. Never at any other point in a woman's life would you, a total stranger, walk up to someone and touch her belly. Now I was huge, hormonal, and terrified that my babies were going to be born way too early, and you want to feel me up? Not a good idea, people. 
I have a 99.9% chance when I leave home with my kids that someone is going to ask me, "Are they tuhwinnnss?" Seriously. It's happened every time I've ever taken them somewhere, with very few exceptions. Doesn't matter if they are dressed alike or not. When you say "yes" people will tell you about their mom, themselves, their cousin, aunt, uncle, etc who is a twin. If they don't know any twins personally, they will tell you about the time they saw a set of twins. Then they will ask if twins run in your family. I get tired of explaining that there was one set a hundred years ago, one of which died, so not many people ever knew there were two babies. Now, I just smile and say, not too sarcastically, "Well, they do now!"
Next they will proceed to tell you how identical they are (whether they are or not.) My girls are fraternal twins. One looks exactly her dad in a dress, and the other one looks just like me with blue eyes. I have learned however, that it goes a lot faster if I just say, "Yep, they sure are." It's just not worth the trouble sometimes.
People will give you mountains of unsolicited advice. Yes, I know they do it to all new mothers, but when they see multiples, it's like they just can't help themselves. Everything from whether they would dress them alike (you know, if they were their babies) to whether they would put them in the same class at school. Then the mother with two kids who are close in age will tell you that it's just like having twins. I have to respectfully disagree with you. I'm not saying it's easier, I'm just saying it's not the same.
So how do you deal with the feeling that someone is staring every time you step out the door? You learn to grin and bear it, because the fantastic things about having twins far outweigh the ones that aren't that great. They come with a built-in playmate. The cuteness factor of two babies in the same outfit is extremely high. And you have two people who think you are the most awesome mom in the world! Plus, if you stop after the twins, you get two babies for the price of one pregnancy. What a deal! My girls are twice the effort, but I get twice as much return on my investment. I love you, girls, freaky or not! :)