You Go to School to Learn, Not for a Fashion Show

Who knew when I became a mom that my home would become a battleground? My dear, sweet, precious angels crawl out of their beds each morning and wage war with their mother over their clothes. Not surprisingly, all of my girls are highly opinionated. I have no idea where that came from. As with many parts of motherhood, I took for granted the brief, shining moment in their lives when I dressed them in whatever matching outfits I wanted them to wear and life went on.
So to you moms out there, I pose the following question: is it wrong to send them to school with a note pinned to their shirt that says, "I dressed myself today?" Then in smaller print, it could say something like, "My mother told me that this didn't match/was too big/has a stain/has a hole in it." The options here are endless. I mean, I never realized how much a child's appearance is a reflection on the mother until I had mine. Admit it. You don't look at dirty, barefoot kids with stringy hair in the grocery store and think to yourself, "Wow. Their dad sucks." Nope, you look at them and think, "Where is that kid's mother? And did she see that kid before it left home?"
My kids want to wear the same five outfits every single week. My husband was convinced at the beginning of the year that their teachers were going to think that they only had five sets of clothes. To which I said, "Hey Babe, I've been to their classroom. There are 23 five year olds in there. Their teacher can't possibly remember what they wore yesterday, because a lot of times, I can't either, and I'm their mother." They also had a striped dress that my husband hated. I mean REALLY hated. And naturally, it was one of their favorite items of clothing ever. They fought over who was going to wear it every week. When it was cold, they added matching leggings and he hated those, too. It was a little big, and will probably still fit in the fall, but I promised him I would tell them it was too small. Unless he pisses me off between now and then. Just kidding, Babe. I'll burn it if you want. 
My child (or my husband either, for that matter) totally doesn't get that their appearance is a reflection on me. How hard is it to understand that I want them to look like someone gives a crap about them? I suppose I should be grateful that one of them says, "I don't care. Pick whatever you want. How about a white shirt and khaki shorts?" My diva child, however, when asked what she wants to wear starts with her underwear. Hair bow, hairstyle, socks, clothes, shoes...she doesn't miss a thing! She's already complaining that I can't fix her hair differently every day. Both of them beg at least once a week to wear their hair "straight" which means with no ponytail and hanging in their face. Not gonna happen, girls. My babysitter is extremely talented with hair and braids, so naturally mom should be able to do it too!
The non-diva is convinced that if two items of clothing are in the same color family, they match and should therefore be worn together. A couple of years ago, someone bought them several shirts, pants, and shorts that they could mix and match. Plain Jane insisted on wearing the orange shirt and orange pants together because, "Mom, this matches. See, they are both orange!" Yes, my dear, but you look like a Push-Up! Too much of a good thing is NOT always a good thing.
Maybe she gets that from me. My husband informed me the other day that I was only slightly better than him at matching clothes. Then he added, "I mean, expensive clothes just aren't really your thing." Really? My ostrich boots beg to differ with you on that one. And by the way, I'm into expensive horses, tack, and furniture. Isn't that enough? I rest my case.
I personally love Gymboree, because they come out with collections of clothes that match. Pretty much anything within that group of clothes goes together. My kids have drawers full of it. What do they pull out of the drawer when left to their own devices? Anything that came from Target. And my daughter is definitely not sold on the idea that all of the items in a collection can be worn together. Yesterday I handed her a shirt and a pair of shorts, and she flatly refused to wear them because the shorts had a little monkey on them and the shirt didn't. I spend at least ten minutes every morning reassuring her that the clothes she has on do indeed match, and that the other kids are not going to laugh at her. Her sister strolled into my office naked the other night and asked me if she was skinny. My goodness. Why didn't you people with girls tell me that this crap started so early? Thanks for the heads up.
Children of my generation remember the song, "Parents Just Don't Understand." Personally, I think if my kids leave home clean, in matching clothes, hair fixed, with their shoes on the right feet, I have done my duty. Remember girls, "you go to school to learn, not for a fashion show." Yeah, right.