House"work"

Am I the only one who didn't realize until they were older and got married just how much mothers do around the house? Working moms, stay at home moms, or stay in the road moms like me...it doesn't matter. Just moms. They do the crap that no one else wants to do. I mean really, how do you walk past the same mess forty-seven times and not feel the urge to clean it up? And don't let the cat/dog/hamster/add pet here crap on the floor. That will cause every other person in the house to lose their ability to smell and become temporarily blind. It's just like Jeff Foxworthy said, "Let's pretend we don't see it and let Mom clean it up!"
 Moms deal with vomit, snot, poop, spit, pee, and any other bodily fluid or function you can think of. I have one child who becomes nauseated by the smell of clean sheets. To the best of my knowledge, the only place she's ever puked is in her bed, typically around 3 AM. Dealing with sheets and a child covered in vomit while still half asleep definitely falls under my least favorite parts of parenthood. Add to that the fact that my husband and I are both sympathetic pukers and you can see why the words "stomach virus" strike fear in my heart like nothing else.
Moms clean toilets, sinks, showers, and the refrigerator. God bless those of you with sons. My husband is very neat and remembers to raise the seat. I can't imagine what the toilet looks like in a house full of little boys. Although I do have to say, I have a hard time figuring out just how my girls manage to defile the toilet in some of the places I have to clean. Athletic little turds!
Speaking of boys, I have a friend who once wrote a blog post about finding her boys' booger wall. I'm not sure if they were saving them for later or having a competition. I wanted to puke just reading about it. And do you know what she did? She laughed about it and then cleaned it up. Oh, and took pictures so she could share it with the world. Thanks, Kelly. Thanks a lot! Your booger wall made my girls' crayon drawings on the windows seem practically boring.
Moms clean sinks, drains, and bathtubs. My children don't seem to grasp the concept that if you bathe in a dirty tub, you STILL aren't clean when you get out. Don't get me started on bathroom counter tops. How do you spread toothpaste all over an entire vanity? I mean, that takes talent. And those expensive towels you hung there for decoration, those are to wipe your face on, right?
Moms do laundry. LOTS of laundry. Laundry is the one thing you can do every single day and never finish, which I find more than slightly depressing. My children are the Stain Masters. You just thought it was a brand of carpet. When it comes to stains, I'm not sure which ones are worse, the ones I can identify (and avoid touching) or the mystery stains. The possibilities there are infinite, especially if they've been to school. Moms sweep and vacuum. If you are anything like me, this often happens in the middle of the night. Before I had children, I used to wonder why my cousin cleaned house at 11 PM. Now I understand that it was because that's when she had time to do it! Cleaning house with small children is an exercise in futility.
Would you like to know why it always looks like a giant wandered through our home vomiting toys? It's because my kids can drag it out faster than I can clean it up. Sweeping my kitchen is fairly pointless when the short people are spreading out my pile before I can get it in the dustpan. When a visitor showed up unannounced, I used to apologize for the condition of my home and then spend the whole visit cleaning up. Now I assume that if they have eyes, they can see that we have three small children. Sometimes it looks like a toy bomb went off in here. Okay, okay, most of the time it looks like a toy bomb went off in here. If it doesn't, it's because my children are gone or asleep. Just wait a few minutes. The toys will come back. They always come back.