Momtrepreneurs

"Slow down, Mommy! There are red lights up ahead!" Advice from the two year old in my backseat. I thought it was fitting, because after watching a segment on the Today show this morning, the topic of "stay at home" working moms has been on my mind. The segment was about something they called "momtrepreneurs," who were women that had launched businesses from home while raising their kids. While I applaud the ladies they had on the show for being successful businesswomen, I also started to really think about people like myself, moms who work from home.
I am really torn on this issue. Part of me says that being able to "work" from home is the most amazing thing ever. People who know me know how much I enjoy writing, and that I would be thrilled if I were able to do it well enough for it to become my job. I actually finished writing my book earlier this year, which I couldn't have done if I had a full time job outside our home. I so sincerely appreciate each and every person who has shared this blog with their friends. My readership has begun to increase, and that's what will be necessary for me to turn this into more than just a hobby. Thank you!
Another part of me thought, here we go. We women are doing it to ourselves again. When we have a job outside the home, we feel the need to be Supermom. We must be all things to all people. We simply must bring home a paycheck of equal size to a man in our position, provide a spotless home, pay for every little thing that our children's hearts desire, prepare healthy meals for a sit down dinner every night, and spend quality time with our little cherubs, all while maintaining a size 4 figure and functioning on little to no sleep. Does anyone else realize how ridiculous that sounds? But women really do try to live up to those standards! Just ask one of them if you don't believe me. And they continually beat themselves up if they are unable to live up to their own impossible expectations.
So what do we do? We quit our "real" jobs so that we can stay at home and raise our families. I admit that I take pride in the fact that when the ABC Mouse commercial voice informs me that birth to 5 years are the most important years in a child's life developmentally and then asks where my kids are during those years, I can answer with a hearty, "At home with their mother!" But here's the kicker. Now, society is telling us that staying at home and being mom isn't enough, either. It's not enough to take care of your husband, home, and children. Now you have to do all those things and run a business from home as well. Just to play devil's advocate, I have to say that working is working, no matter where you do it. Granted, your kids aren't in daycare, and kudos to you for that! But it is really right to tell women that mothering and doing it well isn't enough? That they must also bring in money and do something to "contribute to the family?" I love that line!
In the interest of full disclosure, when I quit my job as a veterinarian to be a mom to my twins, I did feel guilty. And I did use those EXACT words. I can vividly remember telling my husband that I just wanted to make a "contribution." The feminist media had drilled into my head that it wasn't a good thing to be dependent on a man. Fortunately, my guardian angel of a mother also made sure that I married a really, really good man. A real man, who knew how to go out and kill something and drag it home. He put his arms around me, told me how proud he was of me, what a great mom I was, and that the most important job I had now or ever was taking care of his babies. He reminded me that the reason he was able to go out and do a great job at work supporting our family was because he wasn't worried about where his kids were or who was taking care of them. They were with their mother, and that's where they were supposed to be.
Remember when I said he was a really good man? He's also quick to tell me how proud he is of me and to remind me how capable I am of accomplishing anything I set my mind to. He completely supports my desire to be an author (and still get to barrel race), and because of that I try to make sure that he and the kids don't suffer because of it.
I guess the moral of the story is this: I think moms who want to work from home because it's something they enjoy and it makes them feel good about themselves should do it, particularly if it means they can spend more time with their kids. (That's what they want, moms. Your time. The latest greatest toy can't kiss their fears away and tuck them in at night.) But I also think that moms shouldn't feel pressured to work at home because society tells them that the contribution they are making is somehow less than the one their husband is making. Being a mom is the hardest job in the world. It's also the most important. Think for a second about the role your mom played in your life. Pretty darn significant, whether she was a PTA mom or not. Exceptional people come from exceptional mothers, those who bring home a paycheck and those who don't. I'll say it again, motherhood is the hardest job there is. It's also the most worthwhile.