Santa's Flaccid

Those of you who have ever had the pleasure of meeting my husband know how funny he is. He can come up with some off the wall remark to make pretty much any situation funny. I mean really, once when the baby pooped in the bathtub, I was totally freaking out. The germophobe in me was absolutely about to mutiny over the fact that I had to touch my child who had just been sitting in poop water. But the mom in me won out, and I rescued her from the cesspool. My husband, meanwhile, actually managed to calm me down, make me laugh about the whole situation (by re-enacting me standing there by the tub screaming, "OH MY GOD! SHE POOPED! SHE POOPED IN THE TUB! HELP! OH MY GOD! IT'S SO GROSS!") He then carried said baby bathtub way into the woods behind the house and dumped the whole thing, bath rag and all, walked back in the house, and in the spirit of Chevy Chase in National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation when talking about the squirrel in the house, said loudly, "GONE!"
After 15 years, I'm pretty well acquainted with his sense of humor, but I have to admit that he caught me off guard this morning. I was standing in the kitchen half asleep making my breakfast shake when he came in from feeding horses. Keep in mind that we had not seen or spoken to each other yet today, as I was asleep when he got up. Our conversation went something like this. He came in the door, took off his coat, and said this.
Husband: Santa's flaccid.
Me: Excuse me? That sounds like a personal problem there, Santa!
Husband: I meant the 12 foot tall inflatable one in the front yard. It's raining and the wind is blowing so I deflated it. Santa's flaccid!
Me: Well, get him some Viagra.
Husband: You used him up. I thought I saw you kissing Santa Claus!
We spent the rest of the morning making up Christmas songs with risque lyrics. For example, "Santa Baby, don't be waiting under the tree for me. Send an elf here instead!" and "Hurry to the drugstore tonight!" LOL
I freely admit that there are only a certain few who can truly appreciate our sense of humor, but it's always good to start the day with a giggle. You know who you are.