I'd Rather Be Doing It

Ok, ladies...this one's not for kids! My sweet husband shared with me some important information about the male psyche, and as a "journalist" I felt compelled to pass it along to you. In a casual conversation the other day, I asked the love of my life how he was.
He replied, "Good. I mean, I'd rather be doing it, but I'm okay."
Me: "Huh? Doing what?"
Him: "IT."
Me: "What? OH! You're so crazy!"
Him: "Well, it's true. I would rather be doing it. So would ALL men. It's just a fact. Eighteen year old boy in the mall, rather be doing it. Forty year old guy in the grocery store with nine kids, rather be doing it. Ninety year old man sitting in front of you at church, rather be doing it."
Me: "ALL the time?"
Him: "Yep. All he wants is to see something nekkid. Well, "good" nekkid, anyway. Not "bad" nekkid, you know, like on Seinfeld."
Me: "More than eating? More than sleeping? More than watching sports? More than FOOTBALL?"
Him: "Yep. I'd rather be doing it."
Me: "If I put that on a tee shirt, would you wear it?"
Him: "I'd rather be doing it? Um, yeah!"
Me: "You would not!"
Him: "I might..."
And I also agree with Dr. Laura when she reminds women that those husbands who would rather be doing it would rather be doing it with YOU. But if you won't, someone will. So take care of your business at home.
Speaking of taking care of business at home, when we decided to have kids, I never envisioned myself trying to uh, connect with my husband with short people beating on my bedroom door. Because let's face it girls, there's nothing more romantic than someone rattling the doorknob and screaming, "MOM! The TV went off! Can you come fix it? Why is this door locked?" at the top of their lungs. If you can focus on the task at hand through that, you deserve an Olympic medal. And if you can do it without laughing, it should be gold. I have no medals to speak of, and that's all I'm going to say about that. And yes, we could wait until our kids were asleep. Kate Gosselin claimed she and Jon did. And we all saw how well that worked out. When they are asleep, I want to be asleep! And when my husband needs my attention, I give him my attention.
So there you go. For all of you that asked him what he's thinking about and he said, "I don't know. Nothing." What he really meant to say was, "I'd rather be doing it."