The Water Park

July in Mississippi is hot. Really hot. Steamy, suffocatingly hot. I love to hear people out West say, "It's 110 degrees today, but it's a dry heat." Whatever. We don't have dry heat here. We have "walk outside the door and you'll be sweating like a whore in church" heat. (Had to throw that expression in for my husband. It's his favorite.) When my nephew was a little boy, one of his friend's very religious parents, upon finding out that he hadn't yet been saved, glared at him and said dramatically, "Son, do you know how hot HELL is?" He looked at her and replied solmenly, "No ma'am, but it can't be much hotter than it is here today." He was completely serious; they thought he was being a smart aleck. I think he may have had a small point.
In order to escape the heat, we took the girls to Geyser Falls on Saturday. Never having been to a water park, they of course thought it was the most fantastic place we had ever been. I love to go places with my kids. At least for now, they are so innocent. They don't have any preconceived notions about ethnic groups. To them, everyone in the world is a person, just like they are. They automatically assume that everyone has and uses manners. I figure I'll try to keep that notion going for as long as possible. They'll figure out that's not the case soon enough.
Now, not to sound like a grandmother, but that place was full of some of the rudest kids I've ever seen. More than once my husband had to remind a child (or a teenager) that we were standing in line for one thing or another. One little boy pushed his way to the front of the line at one slide. When he got to the top where a little girl was standing, watching the lifeguard for instructions on when it was safe to slide, he simply ducked under her arm and slid down. While I was standing there wondering where the heck his mother was, and why she hadn't taught him better than that, I saw his "chaperone." She was about twelve. No wonder.
The "Lazy River" was anything but, and I thought my kids were about to get to see a side of their dad they aren't familiar with when a group of about six teenage boys all holding on to the same inner tube came up behind us and nearly pushed me underwater while trying to shove us out of their way. I have to say, I'm really starting to understand what people are talking about when they refer to today's teens as the "entitled" generation. My husband also had the joy of busting a teenage girl about to steal my cap. I left it with him while I took my girls on a waterslide. He stayed at the bottom to guard our rented inner tubes. Since the ride didn't allow hats, I had to leave it at the bottom. Beats all I've ever seen. She didn't even have the decency to act embarrassed about being caught trying to steal something. Is this what our society has come to? I sure hope not.
Another thing that wasn't allowed on the waterslide: clothing. The park actually had the nerve to require people to wear a bathing suit. Several disgruntled girls were making their way down the hill because they had been told they couldn't wear their shirts. Since they had basically nothing under them, they chose not to slide. The "lady" in front of me had on blue jean shorts, a tank top, and a black lace bra. I know this not because she lifted her shirt, but because I could SEE most of it just standing behind her. She didn't slide either. She and her six year old daughter spent most of their time in line asking my kids which preteen shows they liked to watch on TV. Finally I just looked at her and said, "They're five years old. They watch cartoons." She didn't have much to say after that.
The best part about going to a water park is people watching. Dollars to doughnuts if you asked most of those people if they would go out in public in their underwear, most of them would say no and act horrified. Yet they will wear a string bikini in front of God and everybody. I don't get it. Pregnant women...do you really need to wear a two piece? I wore a swimsuit a few times when I was expecting. They really do make one that will cover your belly. And this leads me to the most important lesson of the day. Ladies, just because you can fit it that bikini doesn't mean it's a good idea to wear it. Although I guess the immodest among us do play a vital role. Following a decidedly un-Sports Illustrated swimsuit model type lady in a two piece, I heard the woman behind me whisper, "If she can wear it, then I can wear it!" Just because she can doesn't mean she should.